Six times Emma sneaks into Killian's cabin
by Eaasybugboy
Summary: The nights aboard the ship could be cold, and on their way to Neverland, the timeless land, Emma found out that the melody of the sea was too hard to resist. Rated M for a reason.
1. One

_**Thank to Montana for beta-ing! I hope you enjoy. **_

_**Disclaimer; I don't own OUAT**_

* * *

The cold wind was playing with her hair, making her shiver; Emma wrapped her arms around her trying to keep herself warm. Closing her eyes for a moment, she focused on her mission: get Henry and go home together.

"You know love, all you have to do is ask", Hook shouted from the upper deck, steering the ship with ease despite only having one hand.

Emma ignored him and rolled her eyes, because the last thing she needed was a pirate with a passion for innuendos. Henry was her priority, the reason why Emma had asked Hook to take her to Neverland.

But it would be a lie to say that she didn't enjoy being here on the Jolly Roger. Truth be tell, Emma had always felt a pull toward the sea; she could still remember the little girl she once was, dreaming of a little house near the beach with a bedroom that would have a big window through which she'd be able see the sea, the melody of the ocean lulling her to sleep.

But Emma Swan wasn't a girl anymore, that naive girl had had her dreams broken and shattered to pieces; her time in jail had changed her forever.

"What is it, lass?"

She jumped because she hadn't heard him approaching.

It was a thing he did often, appearing next to her when she was least expecting it. Fucking pirate. The very same pirate who was laughing at her right now.

"What?"

"I think I asked you first." His tone was light but his gaze was intense, a fire burning in his eyes, and Emma looked away from him, focusing her attention back on the sea.

Bad choice.

The sea reminded her too much of his eyes.

Bright blue in the sunlight, much like Killian's.

Dark storm blue in the night, much like Hook's.

And yet both were incredibly beautiful.

Emma tried to convince herself that she hated it, but the truth was that both Killian and Hook attracted her.

Stormy eyes and bright eyes.

"You know we'll find him, Emma."

At the sound of her name, she turned around to meet his bright blue gaze.

"Neverland may be a dangerous land, but I know your lad will be okay."

"How would you know that?" She asked but she wasn't expecting an answer; Killian had just told her what he thought she wanted to hear. Henry was lost in a magic land, one of the most dangerous ones, and Emma wasn't blind; she had seen the look in Killian's eyes when she told him about Henry.

She could see all the memories and thoughts passing through his head at that moment.

He knew her son was in danger.

"Well, I might not have met the lad," Killian said and raised his hand to catch a lock of her hair, "but I've met his mother, and I know shed make one hell of a pirate."

Emma tried her best not to look at his lips while he was talking; his voice was something and it was doing things to her, caressing her skin and making her shiver. His fingers barely brushed over her cheek when he pulled her hair behind her ear and it still sent a shiver through her whole body.

"I promised you I'd help you find him, and I'm a man of honor, so we will find him."

And she believed him, like she never believed anybody else before, not even Neal. Just by looking at his beautiful blue eyes, Emma knew Killian would do everything in his power and beyond to find Henry for her.

She realized how true his words had been back in the cell, when he told her he wouldn't have left her.

He would never abandon her.

And it scared her. She had never been more afraid than she was right now; Emma feared for her baby boy's life but she was also scared of the weight of Killian's words and all the meaning behind them. Scared of the feelings growing inside her, scared of how safe she felt with him.

She knew nothing would ever happen to her if he was there.

His palm had cupped her cheek gently, and Killian was looking at her trying to figure out what was happening in her mind. He read her so effortlessly and what he saw troubled him, what he saw made him hold his breath for a moment.

Emma Swan was finally trusting him.

Killian didn't pull her close; she wasn't ready, not yet. He didn't want her to push him away; the pirate wanted it to be her choice, her move.

He wanted her to choose him like he'd been choosing her since the moment he met her, since she had first put her blade under his throat.

Killian was so lost in her eyes that he didn't saw a tiny hand that grabbed Emma from behind; he didn't have enough time to move or scream her name before Emma was already drowning in the sea, a mermaid trying to take her into the deep.

He didn't think for more than a second, and jumped in the sea after them, grabbing the blade he had hidden in his boot, ready to skin the bloody mermaid.

He wouldn't lose Emma, not now, not ever.

Not when they both started to realize what was happening between them.

Emma was fighting, trying to kick, to make the mermaid loosen the grip she had on Emma's leg, but her lungs were screaming, burning from the lack of oxygen. She could feel the darkness coming, her vision starting to blur, and the worst thing was that she wasn't even able to cry or scream. She saw red hair, shining skin and then a bit of leather.

_Killian_, she thought, her hand trying to reach for the dark form swimming its way toward her.

And then she blacked out.

Her last thoughts were of Henry.

The last thing she saw were bright blue eyes.

* * *

"Bloody hell Swan, come on!"

Hot lips on hers woke her up, a wave of warmth spreading through her body, and her eyes suddenly opened to see Killian looking at her with concern.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, and she noticed that he was wet, hair falling in his eyes.

Somehow, they were back on the deck of his ship.

_The mermaid, right_, she thought, realizing that she had almost died.

"You-", Emma started to say before gasping in pain because her lungs were still burning, and Killian's hand brushed her cheeks as he told her to stay quiet because she had swallowed a lot of water and she needs time to recover.

He saved her.

"Let me get you to a more comfortable place where you can rest."

He gently took her in his arms, his hooked arm under her knees while the other wrapped around her waist. Emma didn't hesitate at all in locking her arms around his neck. Killian was holding her close and Emma suddenly felt warmer, and he still gave her enough space to let her breathe.

He carried her to his cabin, and lay her down on his bed gently. As soon as he pulled away the warmth disappeared and her teeth started to rattle.

"You should take off your clothes… Or I could do it for you, if that's what you want." He raised a suggestive brow, a smug grin on lips as he started to unbutton his own wet shirt, revealing his bare chest.

A soft moan of surprise fell from her lips before she could stop it from happening because she hadn't expected Killian to be this muscular, even with the years of sailing and sword fighting. Emma noticed scars along his stomach, on his right side and above his heart and she found herself to be really curious about the origin of those scars, wanting to know their stories. They didn't make him look ugly in her eyes.

They made him even more fascinating.

"See something you like?" He opened his arms, allowing her to look as much as she wanted.

And the truth was she wanted to look a lot.

"You wish", Emma said, her voice still weak from what she'd just been through.

"You have no idea", he replied with a burning, intense look in his eyes that made his bright blue eyes darken with something new.

Lust.

Want.

Desire.

Need.

"I will let you change, and you can stay here as long as you need to. Enjoy my bed, love", Killian said after a moment of intense soul-gazing they shared and looked away. His smirk grew wider as he put a dry shirt on, a black one of course, and then he left the cabin, never looking back at her.

Emma lay on her back, sighing heavily and massaging her temples with her fingers, trying not to let herself forget about her mission, about the reason for this journey.

Henry.

She couldn't let these feelings get to her.

No matter how much she loved those blue eyes, no matter how beautiful the melody of the sea was.

* * *

She couldn't sleep.

It was the first time since they had started this journey, because even though her stomach was tied into knots since the day Henry was kidnapped, she had never slept better than she did on this ship.

The rising and falling of the Jolly Roger on the waves lulled her to sleep, calming her stormy thoughts, preventing her to drown in her fears.

But that night even the slow rocking of the Jolly couldn't help her sleep.

Something had changed since Killian had saved her from that mermaid.

Since she had seen him shirtless.

She had called him Killian and she hated that feeling growing inside her, making her shiver like she never did before. Her fingers brushed her forehead, and Emma tried to put some order in her thoughts, trying to figure out what to do with Killian, Hook- that fucking pirate.

Emma rolled on her side and put a lock of hair behind her ear, reaching for her watch. It read 2:36 a.m.

And she couldn't sleep.

Jumping up from her bed, Emma leaned against the wall next to the window, admiring the calm sea, resting her forehead against the cold glass.

The pirate was getting under her skin, and she could remember every scar she had seen back then, she could easily see every muscle of his perfect form in her mind without even having to close her eyes.

It would be an enormous lie to say he wasn't absolutely gorgeous.

And his eyes… Emma had never seen eyes like his; eyes that read her very soul, terrifying her because what she had seen in them wasn't something she was prepared to face.

Admiration.

Want.

Need.

She swallowed hard, looking down at what she was wearing, a simple white top and shorts; it was not the right outfit to wear on a ship.

The sea was dark blue tonight, and the moon was playing hide and seek with the clouds.

Emma wondered if Killian's eyes matched the color of the sea right now.

She stopped thinking and ran out onto the deck on her tiptoes, passing by her parents' door, hoping that they were deeply asleep.

* * *

Review?


	2. Two

**_Thank you all so much for the feedback that first chapter received! I hope you will love this one! Thanks to Montana, without you I wouldn't be there nor this story!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT._**

**_Rated M for a reason _**

* * *

Emma could feel a fire starting to burn under her skin, spreading through her veins as she made her way to his cabin.

She didn't knock.

Opening the door, she sneaked into his quarters, closing the door carefully so as not to make any noise; the last thing she needed was her parents finding out where she went.

Or what she was doing.

Leaning against the massive door, her eyes sought the pirate, but the room was too dark for her to see him.

His breathing was so silent she couldn't use it to find him; she guessed Killian was asleep, cursing herself for coming here. Emma made a move to open the door when she suddenly felt him against her back.

He was shirtless.

Her back was pressed against his naked torso.

"Sneaking into the captain's cabin, lass?" His hot breath against her ear made her shiver; he was much closer than she had thought at first.

"Hoo-" Her words were cut off when he turned her around, pressing her body against the door, a gasp escaping her lips. The pirate was pressing his entire body flesh against hers and she was trapped between the door and his warmth.

His hand was ghosting over the sensitive skin of her neck, his lips dangerously close to hers.

She wished she could see his eyes right now.

But even if she couldn't because the room was so badly lit, she could easily guess their color.

Dark storm blue.

"What are you doing here Emma?" Killian asked, his hooked arm resting on the door above her head, his body way too close for comfort, preventing her from thinking clearly.

"I couldn't sleep."

At least her voice was steady.

For now.

"That's not the reason why you're here, love," His voice was low, his accent singing in her ear, and Emma was grateful he couldn't see her right now because her cheeks were burning.

"Why else would I be here?" She asked teasingly.

Killian didn't answer right away, taking his time and she heard him inhale deeply before his hand traveled down her body, his touch sending a wave of warmth through her, his fingers brushing against her breasts, her ribs, her stomach, the waistband of her shorts.

"Because you can't get me out of your head." He breathed against her cheek.

She couldn't fight the call of the sea, the melody of the blue eyes.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Emma closed the distance between them and slammed her lips against his in a passionate kiss, her teeth scratching his bottom lip as she pulled him even closer. It didn't take him long to answer back, pressing her harder against the door, his tongue seeking entrance; she didn't think twice, her tongue tangling against his, cupping his cheek with her hand as she deepened the kiss.

Nothing had ever felt like this before.

His arms wrapped around her waist, keeping her against him as if he was afraid she might push him away soon. Her fingers were in his hair, playing with the soft strands; she moaned against his mouth, not able to control her reaction to his kisses. When she pulled away she was gasping for air, her eyes locked with his even through the darkness of the room.

That was the moment the moon chose to enlighten the cabin with its light.

His eyes were black storm blue with desire. Questioning her, seeking an answer.

Emma had no doubt who the man standing in front of her was, holding her like she was precious.

Even with the hook he had instead of a hand, Killian Jones was the only man standing in this room.

Unable to convey what she felt with words because she didn't trust her voice, Emma stood on tiptoes to reach him, realizing how tall he really was, and kissed him.

It was tender at first, a thank you hidden in the touch of her lips against his, a promise in her whisper as she said his name.

"Killian."

And from tenderness the kiss became passionate, Killian lifting her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around him, both of them gasping at the new closeness. His hips bucked forward, her nails digging in his biceps as his tongue lavished her mouth; Killian was one hell of a kisser and no one had ever kissed her like that, not even-

She groaned when he pinned her against the door, preventing her to form any coherent thoughts.

She couldn't care about anything now. Not when his fingers were brushing against her skin under her top, so she pulled away, finally managed to breathe out: "Take me to bed."

Killian's eyes met hers. "Are you sure?"

She nodded, tightening the grip her legs had on his waist and making him groan, a hand on her neck pulling her against him, catching her lips in a needy kiss as he walked to bed, never breaking contact with her lips.

When his eyes locked with hers, Emma was sure that he would never let her go.

And she would spend the hours until dawn lost in his dark blue eyes.

Grey eyes and blue eyes drinking each other's soul.

Tonight the sea would be stormy and furious, just like Killian's eyes.

xxxx

Emma's gaze was fixed on the horizon, her hands rubbing awkwardly against her jeans when she heard Mary Margaret walking toward her.

"Are you okay?" Snow asked, concern written all over her face. Not wanting to alarm her, Emma gave her a soft smile and nodded.

"He's going to be fine Emma, we'll find him", her mother said with a smile, squeezing her shoulder. "It's a family thing, we always find each other."

Emma admired her for a moment because she had no idea how her mother could have so much hope; they were on the Jolly Roger in the company of Captain Hook. Emma bristled at the thought of the pirate leading them to Neverland.

There was nothing to be hopeful about.

After a long silence, Snow seemed to understand that her daughter needed time alone and went back to David.

Emma breathed heavily and closed her eyes, letting the scent of the sea invade her senses, hoping it would calm her nerves.

It did the exact opposite and Emma shivered as flashes of what happened last night, or, rather, this morning, came back to her.

It had been one hell of a night.

xxxx

"Is that what you want?" Killian breathed heavily, pulling away just enough to speak, his lips brushing against hers.

She didn't trust her voice at the moment so she wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and pulled him closer, making them both gasp. Killian got the message and crushed his lips against hers, kissing her with the desperation of a hungry man.

The moonlight was brightening the room and Emma held her breath when it reflected in his eyes, making them a mixture of bright and dark blue, something she had never seen before. Burned by their intensity, afraid of what she saw in his eyes, Emma focused her attention on the laces on his pants; she gave a sharp tug, trying to loosen them, cursing when nothing happened. Killian pulled back for an instant, working the laces loose singlehandedly with an ease Emma envied; he had already taken his hook off, not wanting it to get in the way. She tried to avoid his gaze without much success, impatiently trying to reach for him, but Killian had found a new interest; getting her out of her pants, kissing every inch of her skin, making her arched against the bed.

She needed more.

Grabbing a lock of hair between her fingers, she pulled him up to her with no delicacy, her hand traveling down his chest, caressing every scar her fingers encountered, fighting the urge to kiss them all. They didn't have time.

"Emma…"

Soon enough they were completely bare in front of each other and Emma didn't think twice when she wrapped her legs around him, silently asking him to take her. She didn't want bright blue eyes drinking her soul, she wanted dark blue eyes taking her.

Killian leaned closer, his hand at the back of her leg, leaving a burning pattern of his fingers on her skin, his hot breath against her neck; he was a tease, torturing her, being so close, so dangerously close but not close enough.

She was about to protest when his fingers were suddenly _there_, teasing her and Emma couldn't help but rock her hips forward, begging in silence for more. His fingers went up, brushing against her ribcage as the pirate rocked his hips once, twice, denying her what she wanted. He hushed her cry with a kiss and unlike some other kisses they shared, this kiss was tender, his lips brushing against hers slowly, his tongue tangling with hers with a lazy pace.

Emma pulled away because it was too sweet, too soft, too tender for her; it wasn't why she had come here. She wanted to forget about Henry, she wanted her mind to be somewhere else for a moment.

She didn't want to deal with these feelings.

Tightening her grip around his waist, her lips brushed against his as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Please."

Her arms wrapped around his neck and she grabbed his necklace, the pendants cold as she used it to bring his head closer, her tongue tracing his bottom lip. She gasped when Killian finally honored her request and took her in one swift thrust. He groaned in the crook of her neck and started to pick up the pace, taking everything he could, giving her all she needed and wanted, loosing himself in her, dropping wet kisses along her jaw, sucking the skin at her pulse point. Emma's lips parted and she tried silence her cries and moans, remembering that her parents weren't far away from them. Killian went back to her lips, his eyelashes fluttering, his gaze unfocused with desire, his fingers wandering over her jaw as he lifted up her chin and brushed her lips with his thumb. His thrusts were slow and hard at the same time because he was taking his time, savoring the moment; for a night, for a few hours Killian had her. Silencing her every moan with his lips, he brushed away her tears.

"Killian." At the sound of his name, Emma heard the pirate groan, responding to her with a sharp thrust of his hips, making her arch her back. Their bodies were pressed tightly and yet to Emma it still didn't feel like he was close enough; her hands were wandering along his back, his forearms and biceps, touching every inch of skin she could, her toes curling in the sheet. This was all too much; she had wanted him to make her forget, not to make her feel, and right now with his blue eyes looking at her Emma felt everything.

And it scared her.

They reached the peek together, too soon, too fast; she wasn't ready to lose it yet and apparently Killian wasn't either. Emma kept her eyes closed, not able to look at those blue eyes even if she could feel him looking at her. And then she fell hard, clinging to him, holding onto him as if her life depended of it. A cry escaped her lips, and she heard Killian groaning against her hair, chanting her name, slowly stilling the movement of his hips, his hand traveling up and down her side. And then he kissed her, fingers tangling in her hair, keeping her close, not letting her go… not yet.

Emma tried to catch her breath, her nose buried in his neck; she loved the way his body was crushing hers. She didn't think about what she was doing, she just wrapped her arms around his waist, keeping him where he was; she wasn't ready to face his blue eyes, so she focused on his breathing, on the beating of his heart against her chest, on the way she shivered when his lips brushed against the curve of her neck.

"Well, I told you I prefer more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back."

She stayed silent, realizing what had just happened and waiting for the guilt to come but there was one problem: it never did.

And she hated him for that.

Killian must have felt her mood change because he rolled off her, his eyes searching hers. Emma bit her lip, her gaze locked on the ceiling, feeling tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She had wished to forget about Henry, and she did, for a moment, lost in Captain Hook's arms.

"Oh, lass."

He didn't let her run away, not this time; he pulled her in his embrace, thankful that she didn't push him away, curling at his side instead, her tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Her head resting upon his chest, Emma closed her eyes, swallowing a sob, letting him hold her like she hadn't been held in a long time, his arms keeping her safe.

And she hated herself for not being able to push him away.

She hated herself for being weak and letting him in.

"We'll find your lad, Emma. I promise."

* * *

Review?


	3. Three

**_Posting sooner than I planned cause I think we all need to change our minds after last night episode. Please guys don't give up your hope! We are timeless and definitely happening! _**

**_Thank you for your feedback and your reviews you have no idea how happy I am you love that story!_**

**_Rated M for reasons *wink* _**

**_Thanks to Montana for betaing, even when I'm killing her with feels! You are perfect! _**

**_Disclaimer; I don't own OUAT, _**

* * *

They fell asleep in each other's arms.

When she woke up, Emma was lost, not realizing at first where she was; strong arms were holding her tightly and her back was pressed against his chest.

Until images and flashes of what had happened earlier came back to her.

She was naked in Hook's bed and she rubbed her hand against her forehead as she tried to perceive the situation and put order in her thoughts. The last thing she wanted was for her parents to find her in the captain's cabin and she could just picture her father's face; he would probably throw Killian overboard.

She needed to get out of here, no matter how warm and welcoming his bed was. At the thought of their embrace her cheeks turned hot and red. What the hell had she been thinking, finding comfort with Captain Hook? Emma tried to unlock his grip, praying he wouldn't wake up, because the last thing she wanted was him awake, looking at her with bright blue eyes and reading her every thought.

Thank Gods he didn't wake up.

Emma walked around the bed on tiptoes, looking for her underwear. There was no way she was going to return to her room without her clothes.

Finally she found her panties and put them on, her eyes drawn to a map on his desk. Neverland was written in cursive letters on top of it, and she took her time to study the land they would see soon; it looked exactly like in her dreams, when she was still dreaming. Once upon a time, a little girl dreamed of Neverland and of the lost boys, wishing in her heart that Peter Pan could come and give her a home.

"Sneaking out? I knew you'd be a good pirate."

Turning around, her hair flying around and landing on her shoulder, Emma jumped at the sound of his voice. She tried to reach the door to avoid a talk because she wasn't ready to face the consequences of whatever happened between them yet, but Killian was faster and his hand slammed the door closed before she could escape.

"Stop running away", he said and pinned her against the door, her whole body reacting to his touch, blood burning in her veins.

The fact that he was naked didn't help Emma clear her thoughts. Killian turned her around, slamming her back against the warm wood of the door; she was trapped.

"Let me go." Her hands pressed against his chest and she tried to make him go away but it was like trying to push a rock; he was just too strong.

Instead of pulling away, he pinned her harder against it.

Dangerously pressed against her. Deliciously pressed against her.

"Did you really think you could just leave like that?" His lips were a breath away from hers. "You came to me and asked me to take you." He rolled his hips against hers, getting a moan out of her so easily.

The thing was, Emma had wanted him to take her, to have his way with her, to make her forget everything.

She hadn't wanted him to make love to her.

"I think I made quite a good job earlier." His lips traveled along her mouth, his tongue teasing her bottom lip, brushing against her cheeks; he kissed her jaw and then whispered against her ear. "Do you need me to show you again?" His hand lifted her leg, hooking it around his hips, pulling her even closer.

"Just let me go", Emma gasped without conviction. "Seriously, Hook, let me go", she said and started to push him with a little bit more strength.

"Really, Swan?" He stressed her name, glaring at her with suspicious eyes, still not moving his hand from her thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on her skin, the contact with his rings, the coolness of the metal making her shiver. "I'd have thought that after such a night you would have remembered my name." He tightened the grip on her leg, brushing his lips against her ear. "I remember you saying it again and again." His handless arm brushed against her ribs, "whispering it", he said in the low husky voice as he nipped her earlobe before kissing the skin just under her ear, his tongue tasting and teasing, "asking for more", he added and bit down on her neck, sucking and nipping the skin until he left a mark, "begging for more."

Emma's hands, still on his chest, stopped pushing him, and taking that as a good signal, Killian abandoned her jaw to kiss her, tongues and teeth crashing against each other, both trying to make a point, to win a battle. Emma realized that she was losing it to the pirate, and when his hand left her leg to cup her jaw to kiss her properly, she didn't put her leg down, squeezing him tighter instead, gasping when she almost felt him _there_.

"My, my, who would have thought that", Killian smirked, his tongue teasing her bottom lip.

"Shut up." Grabbing his necklace she pulled him flush against her, and forgot the rest; he was here, and she didn't want him to go.

She didn't want to go either.

"Emma." He groaned against her lips, cursing himself for not wearing his hook right now, because her panties were preventing him from taking her. The blonde understood what he wanted and unlocked her leg to take off her underwear. As soon as it was gone, Killian lifted her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around him again and with one sharp movement he claimed her, coaxing a long cry out of her mouth that he muted by kissing her deeply. Her fingers found the back of his head, playing with his hair as she rolled against him, matching his pace.

"Killian", his name fell from her lips before she could think about it and it was too late to take it back; a grin appeared on his face.

"See", he said, his hips stilling a moment, "you do remember my name". He was a freaking tease, and she could feel her whole body burning and craving for more because of the way he was playing with her. In an effort to make him move again she tightened her grip around his waist and rocked her hips but the only thing she managed to get from him were slow movements, better than stillness but so not enough. She gave a sharp tug on his necklace, her lips almost on his. "Come on lass, I thought you wanted to."

Emma knew what he wanted right now; he wanted to see her yield to him, to say that she wanted him, that she wanted it all.

"Don't stop." Her breathing was erratic, she was close, so close and she needed him more than ever. It pained her to realize it but she needed him more than anyone. Neverland would be out of reach without him. Emma would have died, she'd have been killed by a mermaid if he hadn't saved her.

She would have felt lonely and scared if he wasn't holding her.

Locking her gaze with his, grey-green eyes finding black blue eyes, her hand gently cupped his jaw, her lips softly kissing his like they never did before.

"I need you."

To be totally honest, Emma had expected him to be all smug and arrogant, all Hook-ish, but Killian surprised her by giving her his best smile, true and breathtaking, like he wanted to convey his feelings for her before he started to move again, slower and yet deeper. Emma's eyelashes fluttered, her eyes closing, and she kept her fingers closed on his necklace as his name, his real name not his moniker kept falling from her lips like a prayer, like "thank you", like "I need you", like "I trust you".

When she felt her climax in her whole body, Emma clung to him, holding on as Killian groaned and muted his cry in the crook of her neck, breathing deeply and whispering her name against her skin.

They stayed in that position for a long moment, and neither of them could tell how long. Emma didn't trust her legs, and she was thankful that Killian was supporting her and kept her pinned against the door. Their breathing was still irregular, and she focused her attention on running her fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, Killian's forehead still resting against her shoulder.

Emma called him, still using his name and not his moniker because it would have felt wrong now that they were so close. He watched the way her tongue licked her lips before he gave her that intense look that would have made her weak in the knees if they weren't already weak.

He didn't say anything and neither did she, and he just rested his forehead against hers, noses brushing against each other. Normally Emma would have pulled away, the gesture too intimate for her, but right now, at that particular moment, it felt right.

Slowly her feet found the ground, and she grabbed her panties, Killian pulling away just enough so she could move but staying close enough for her to feel everything.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, the one with the scar, and she could see it surprised him.

Dark blue eyes had returned to their bright blue color, the one she loved so much.

The storm outside seemed to have calmed down. The sea was quiet and peaceful, just like Emma's heart.

* * *

_**Reviews keep me inspired! **_


	4. Four

**Thank you all so much for your amazing feedback, you have no idea how happy it makes to know you enjoy that story! Thank to Montana for being the best beta reader ever, I have no idea how you're doing it, you silly masochist thing but don't ever change!**

**_Enjoy the new chapter!_**

* * *

Next time she woke up in his bed, Emma didn't run away, she didn't feel the need to go as far as she could from him. Killian had wrapped his strong arms around her middle, holding her tightly against his chest. As far as she could remember, and it wasn't difficult because Emma wasn't the kind of girl who would stay after a one night stand, no one had ever held her like that; like she was precious.

Like she mattered.

That was how Killian's embrace felt like.

And for the first time in a very long time, if not forever, Emma felt safe.

Killian was sleeping peacefully, his features relaxed as she's never seen them before; he looked like a man who had his heart shattered to pieces, not like a man after revenge, because that was who he was under all that leather, the guyliner and the smug face, a broken man with a broken heart.

Unconsciously the tips of her fingers drew circles on his chest, and Emma took a moment to study the pendants hanging around his neck, and she had to admit that she wasn't immune to the whole pirate package. It was kind of sexy.

Okay, sexy as hell.

Maybe it was because the sun hadn't risen yet but her walls were down and she had left the doubts at the door. For the first time in a lifetime she allowed herself to appreciate the moment, to savor the warm arms holding her.

She was fine, more than fine. Aside from the fact that her son was lost somewhere in a scary land and that her parents were travelling with her on seas Emma hadn't even known existed a week ago, yeah, she was feeling good.

Looking up at Killian, Emma's attention focused on his long eyelashes; it was so unfair that a man would have such long eyelashes.

He was beautiful, and he looked so peaceful, right here, with her in his arms, and Emma lay there listening to the calming sound of the waves coming through the opened window; it was still early in the morning and she didn't have to go back to her room yet, so they still had time.

Burying her head in the crook of her neck, Emma breathed in his scent, a melange of leather, rum and sea, plus a dash of something unique, something that was just him.

Killian had felt her gaze because as always hr could feel her wherever Emma was. She had stared at him and better yet, she had let him hold her.

With a gentle touch he caressed her cheek, brushed away one of her curls.

"Emma", Killian said, stroking her cheeks slowly; the sun was rising and he knew she didn't want her parents to know about whatever was happening between them.

"Hmmm", she murmured, keeping her eyes closed, not wanting to let the moment go; sleeping seemed to be a better option than opening her eyes and seeing that she has to go because it's already dawn.

"Lass, as much as I enjoy having you in my bed, I'd rather continue our trip on board than over board." Killian moved so he was now above her, his fingers travelling down her side, his lips kissing her neck, his tongue lavishing her collarbone and making her shiver from his touch. Emma suddenly felt wide awake, her senses alert, her entire body very aware of his closeness. Hooking her legs around his hips, pushing on his biceps, she rolled them over so she was now straddling him.

"I must say you look good from here." His hand rested on her tight, patiently waiting for her to do something. "I may reconsider what I said back then near the lake." Arching his back from the bed, he sit up, his arms instantly going around her, his lips barely brushing against hers. "Me on my back is a way better idea." Nipping her lips, his fingertips went up and down her back and a soft moan that sounded like his name fell from her lips.

Damn the Charmings; they can throw him overboard for all Killian cared; this was way too interesting and enjoyable.

If he had to, he would rather have Emma again and swim to Neverland than let her go now.

"Lay back" Emma ordered, her hands pushing him down as she spoke, rolling her hips against his, a low groan coming from his mouth. She leaned down and touched him, but not the way Killian expected her to, wanted her to. He tried his best not to arch his back when her lips traveled up and down his chest, kissing every inch of skin she came across; his jaw, his collarbone, his biceps, her hands always following her lips.

Looking up at him with a smirk on her lips she admired the effect she had in him. Their stomachs were touching and Killian growled: "Don't be a bloody tease, lass."

Emma's only answer was an arched brow and a roll of her hips. The grip he had on her tightened before his hand went to the middle of her thighs.

Two could play that game after all.

"Oh!" Her head fell back at his touch and the moan that started was rapidly swallowed by his lips on hers. Killian's hand messed with her curls, his lips almost violent against hers because they didn't have time for gentleness. Not able to take it anymore, Killian rolled them over and with a sharp thrust he made her his; his movements were relentless, seeking release, and Emma rocked her hips, meeting his pace. Killian never let her moan out loud, always kissing her, pulling away just enough to let her breathe.

"Come on, Emma." He punctuated her name with one hard thrust, trailing wet kisses along her jaw before returning to her lips. Emma came undone with it, her left hand holding onto his bicep, her right wrapped around his neck.

"Ki-" His name was muted once again by his lips, and Killian moaned into her mouth before pressing his nose against her neck and inhaling the mixture of their scents.

Sea and cinnamon. Perfection.

Her hand gently massaged his shoulder, waiting for him to let her go, knowing she wasn't ready to go yet.

"I have to go."

" I know."

And he let her go.

"Can I keep that strange contraption of yours?" He pointed at her bra on the floor while she was dressing. "You know, like a souvenir of my conquest."

"No way."

And without another word she went back to her room, praying her parents were still asleep.

* * *

Next time Emma sneaked into his cabin, she found him studying a map of Neverland, sailing instruments at his left, a compass at his right; Killian reached for another map representing the stars and only lifted his head to look at her when she closed the door, resting her weight against it, arms crossed behind her back.

"I wasn't expecting you to come back so soon, lass." He sat back in his chair, his brow arching as his gaze fell to her deliciously naked legs.

Emma didn't answer, going to him instead, her hands grabbing the lapels of his shirt and her lips crashing against his. Killian stood up, his hand cupping the back of her head, playing with the braid resting on her shoulder. Emma kissed him with desperation, her teeth scratching against his bottom lip, and Killian groaned, his arms pulling her closer as he lifted her on the desk, making way for her by throwing maps and instruments to the floor without care; she was a way more interesting map right now. He stood between her tights, teased her with his fingers wandering along her soft skin and she shivered and gasped when his fingers touched her _there_, arching her back so her chest was pressed against his. Killian sucked her tongue in his mouth, coaxing a long moan from Emma's throat; her legs automatically went around his waist, pulling him closer, her breathing was getting ragged, her fingers working at the buttons of his shirt.

Her hands were shaking so Emma gave up, her eyes fixed on his necklace as she chewed her bottom lip, her fingers brushing against the chain, her free hand pressed against her mouth as she tried to swallow her cry, her forehead falling against his chest.

Henry… It has been a week since they started their journey. What if...

Emma clung to Killian and at first he looked paralyzed, but recovered quickly because she needed him to stay where he was or she would fall. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably, the cries making her body tremble, hot tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I… I… I can't-", she gasped, her lungs burning inside her chest; she couldn't breathe, she was panting, the fear for Henry spreading through her, making her shake even more violently. Killian lifted her chin with his hand, his intense blue eyes meeting hers, and she'd never seen him so worried before.

"Breathe, Emma, breathe."

"I... I can't."

"Breathe", he repeated, taking her tenderly in his arms, just like he had done after rescuing her from the mermaid, lifting her from the desk and carrying her to his bed. He carried her like she was precious, holding her close to his chest, and Emma wrapped one arm around his neck, the other resting over his heart as she tried to steady her breathing.

He laid her down on the bed and opened the window to let the fresh air inside, and at first Emma still shivered violently, her body shaking, goosebumps forming on her arms and legs, but gradually the scent of the sea helped her steady her breathing, calming her like nothing else, because only the sea had that power over her. Emma watched him take off his shirt, and she didn't question why, her arms wrapped around her in an attempt to keep herself warm. And then her arms were covered by Killian's, his warm body pressed against her back, his chin resting on her shoulder.

And she fit perfectly against him.

"Breathe, Emma, breathe." He whispered against her hair, holding her until her body stopped shaking, and long after that, because he never intended to let her go. Emma continued to cry and Killian didn't stop her; he knew she needed to, he could feel the tension in her shoulders and so he just stayed where he was, letting her know he was there.

After a while, Emma turned in his arms so she was facing him, her arms still wrapped around her, her eyes red from all the crying; his hand brushed her wet cheek and his lips caressed her forehead, and then her body started shaking again.

Killian pulled her against him, her nose burying in his neck, and she let him hold her all night long.

"Breath, Emma, breath", Killian sang in her ear. "We'll find him."

* * *

_**Review?**_


	5. Five

_**Hey lovelies! Thank you so much for all your kind reviews, follows and favorites, it means a lot! Tonight is the finale and this chapter felt right in the theme! **_

_**Neverland is coming!**_

_**For those who were asking, this fic will probably have 7 chapters, maybe 8, depend of my muse! **_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT**_

* * *

She tried really hard to fight the need, the blood pulsing in her veins so fast it was impossible to find sleep; her anxiety was back, and Emma was afraid of another crisis, but there was no way she would sneak into his cabin again because last night had been the last time, too intimate for her to go back for that.

Her teeth chewed her thumbnail as she tried to figure out a way around the intimacy; the truth was, Emma wanted him to hold her again because nobody's embrace had ever made her feel so safe before, not even David's who supposed to be her father.

Killian was a pirate.

He wasn't supposed to be anything but a pirate to her.

Ghosts were haunting her since last night, ghosts of her fears, of her scars, invisible but still hurting and bleeding. The ghost of the mermaid's hand, wrapped around her ankle, and Killian's arms around her, the ghost of his warmth, his embrace, his breath on her skin.

Damn. Even his scent was haunting her.

After kicking off the covers and getting up, Emma walked toward the deck, smiling when she passed her parents' cabin and heard David snoring, wondering how Mary Margaret managed to sleep, because not even ogres snored as loudly as David did.

Charming her ass.

Emma reached the deck, looking up at the dark sky because the moon was hidden behind the clouds, only the stars shining tonight. A gentle smile, the one she used to reserve for Henry, appeared on her lips because she felt certain that her son was watching the sky just like she was tonight.

She prayed he was okay, wherever he was.

Shaking herself out of her reverie, Emma's eyes were drawn to the massive wooden door, her cheeks going red when she remembered what had happened against it.

Swallowing hard, pushing aside the thoughts and images coming back to her, Emma tried to focus on the stars. Once upon a time, she had known all about them, because she had stolen a book from the library about them. Her favorite tale, Peter Pan, was about a star, and naively she had thought that if she learned all the constellations in the sky, maybe she would find a way to Neverland on her own, a way to Peter Pan.

Maybe she would find a family there.

"Aren't they brighter in this realm?"

Emma jumped and whirled around to see Killian leaning against his door and she hadn't even heard him open it; damn that pirate, he was more like a ninja.

"I... I wanted to catch some air."

"Trying to breathe?" Killian asked, walking toward her and stopping in front of her, and there was no arrogance in his voice, his entire demeanor different. Emma only gave him a quick smile, not quite looking at him because the souvenirs of last night were still too real in her mind; she felt too vulnerable.

"I couldn't sleep", she said, not knowing what to say to this Killian; she was used to the smug bastard, the one with a mischievous smile, not the one with a caring and tender one.

Not the one who had held her last night.

It wasn't that she didn't like it, God knows she had loved it more than she should have, but it had changed everything between them.

"You could have joined me." His smile widened in a smug smirk, the one Emma was used to; it was the Killian Jones she knew, the one she knew how to deal with.

Emma rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head, and focusing on the stars, her arms wrapped around her because she hadn't thought the night was so cold and she was too lazy to go back to her room to get a jacket. Emma hoped that Killian would go if she didn't talk to him, just leave her because she wanted some time alone; his presence wasn't helping her clear her head at all.

"Can you leav-" Emma forgot what she was about to say when a heavy coat, his coat, fell on her shoulders, covering her and keeping her warm. Turning to face him, her lips parted in surprise, Emma grabbed the lapels of the leather coat, loving how protected she felt wrapped in it, fighting the urge to bury her nose against its lining; it smelled like rum, sea, leather and him.

"You were cold, and I'm a gentleman", he said, answering her silent question.

"Thank you", Emma murmured, wrapping the coat tighter around her, avoiding his eyes because what she had seen in them wasn't something she was ready to face.

"You sound surprised", Hook noticed, leaning against the rail, his arms resting on the heavy wood, his chin up as he looked at the sky.

"I'm not used…" Emma shut her eyes and swallowed hard. "I'm not used of people taking care of me."

Killian cocked his head, studying her silently and making her blush; she was thankful that the moon was absent tonight because she doubted Killian could see it in the dark.

"You look good in it, I must say, but I think I prefer you in a more..." He paused, his eyes going up and down her body, his tongue pressed against his teeth, "natural outfit", he finished, finally looking at her with a grin on his face, arrogant as always. Emma hit him in the arm, laughing softly.

"You started it like a gentleman, and ended it like a bastard."

"Pirate", Killian said, straightening up, looking down at her from his considerable height.

"You may have found your parents," he said, his hand running over the curve of his hook absentmindedly, "but you're still an orphan. You're still trying to find your place, the place you can call home." He asserted, not looking at her, staring at the sea, the wind playing in his hair. "You're still lonely. And it's even worse now that your lad is gone."

"Can you not do that tonight?" Emma sighed, clicking her tongue against her teeth, looking up at the sky.

"Do what?" Killian asked, and Emma could feel his eyes on her; even the lapels of his heavy coat weren't enough to prevent the familiar burn that his gaze on her caused.

"The reading me thing." Emma shook her hand, waving in his direction. "It's not really funny, and not really pleasant."

Killian turned around so he had his back to the sea, facing Emma, arms crossed on his chest, "Am I wrong?"

"That's not the point." She looked away, hating how easy it was for him to read her, when it was so hard for her to read him right now; his eyes were enigmatic and she hated it. "I just want you to stop. I don't need a psychoanalyst right now."

"A what?"

"Never mind… It's someone like Archie, so don't Archie me."

"But can the Cricket read you like an open book?" He asked and flashed her one of those big smirks combine with an arrogant look, then added: "And honestly love, I'd rather "Killian" you."

She didn't answer him immediately, not liking the way she felt trapped, in his coat, on his ship, in his realm, knowing that his old self has been her first crush. She hated the way he made her feel, breathless, air coming to her lungs with difficulty; she felt like there was no way out, like she couldn't run away from him or hide.

"And now you want to run", he chuckled, biting his lip as he turned his back to her, looking up to the stars. "You know Emma, I used to be a lot like you, bloody hell, we _are_ a lot alike, only I don't run anymore. But I used to, when I was known under the name of Peter, I kept running against time, against nature, never wanting to grow up. I was running away from responsibilities, from the world, and I thought that I could keep on running like that forever. After all, I was in Neverland, the timeless land." Killian said in on one breath, lost in his memories.

Emma stepped closer, her hands resting on the rail, her nail digging into the wood, listening to him talk about the boy he was once, the one she used have a crush on, the one she used to dream of, feeling her heart starting to beat faster.

"I don't exactly remember how old I am because I spent so many years in Neverland, both as Peter and as Hook. That's something this land tends to do, it changes your perception of time, but I know I spent too many years stuck in childhood. I was a fool, I was reckless, I felt like I was the king of the world, invincible."

Emma didn't say anything, hypnotized by his voice, his words, his story, the one that you couldn't find in any book. A part of her wondered if Milah had ever heard it.

"You can't run all your life, that's what Neverland taught me, because at the end of the day it won't be enough. I had eternal life, loyal friends, and yet it wasn't enough, I needed more, and that's why I left. The boys never forgave me for growing up, and now they have no idea who I am; they know Hook, but they don't know Killian Jones. Growing up was the scariest adventure I've ever had, but there isn't a day I regret it because the day I decided to leave Neverland, I stopped running, and I started fighting, I started living."

"How did you end up being a captain?" Emma asked, the words rushing out of her mouth before she could stop herself; the moment was unique and she was sure neither of them had ever been as honest as they were right now.

Looking up to the stars, a sad and nostalgic smile on his lips, Killian took his time to answer. "The call of the sea got to me; it's not something you can learn, it's something you have inside you. I was born for the seafaring life so I joined a crew of pirates, because after years in the same land, even as beautiful and incredible as Neverland is, I wanted to know the seven seas, I wanted to see the world. I was craving for adventures and even if I might've seemed young back then I was still older than them all reunited, still am," he added, licking his lips and smiling. "I was also good with a sword, but you know that already, right?" Killian asked and looked at her with an arched brow.

"Shut up." Emma said, hitting his arm gently once more. "You ended with your face buried in the sand if I recall."

Killian shook his head and laughed, making her smile, "You can't even hold a sword properly, love."

"Shut up I can!" She shouted in indignation, trying really hard not to laugh.

"Do you want me to show you how good I am with a sword or do you want me to continue the story? Like I was saying," Killian paused, licking his lips, his eyes turning serious again, "I was good with a sword, actually the best of the seven seas, and quickly the crew came on my side and I ended up being the Captain of the Jolly Roger."

His hand ran over the rail, caressing it as if his ship were a woman, the only one left in his life and heart.

"It was like being Pan again, but I wasn't running anymore, I was free; time had a hand on me but at least I could go wherever I desired; I was a fighter, I had a crew, loyal friends, and treasures, everything a man could wish for." Killian let a heavy sigh cross his lips, his shoulders tensing. "And still something was missing, because if I wanted to stay a Captain I couldn't be weak in front of my men, I couldn't be their equal; being a Captain is a lonely life because no matter how many wenches you bed, something is always missing."

"I wasn't complaining though, I thought it could be enough", he added, his brows coming together in a scowl, his lips pressing into a thin line, "And then... and then I met Milah, and she was something," he laughed, so far away from Emma in that moment, so distant and yet so open to her tonight. "She was a lot like me in a sense; Milah wanted to see the world, and I was able to give her that, so when she asked me to take her to sea, I did, because who was I to refuse her what I had myself done just a few years before? I had finally found an equal, I wasn't lonely anymore, I had fallen in love with her and we were sailing the seas, and we were happy", Killian said, his voice barely audible.

"But Milah was running away and I realized it a little bit too late; she was a mother, and she had run away from her responsibilities. Every night I saw her regretting leaving her child behind, but she was tough, not the kind of woman to cry; bloody hell, my men would have cried before Milah shed a tear. Still, I saw it, every night when she went to bed it was in her eyes; the ghost of her child."

"That's why you want revenge." Emma spoke, carefully stepping closer, her fingers reaching to touch his hook, barely brushing along the cold metal, and for once, the intimacy of the moment didn't scare her, and she didn't want to run away.

She felt safe with him close to her, with his coat on her shoulders.

"I want revenge because he took away my happiness, my love, he took away my dream. I wanted her to see Neverland, you know, I wanted her to have eternity. Do you know why we came back to port? " Killian asked her, his intense eyes locked with hers. "She wanted to find her lad; that's why we came back, because I wanted to give her an eternity with her son."

Emma stayed silent, what were the words that would ease loss and pain? What did you say to someone who had lost love? She wasn't able to find the words for herself, how could she find them for him? Instead, Emma's hand closed around his hook, and she gave him a sad smile.

"You can't run forever, love", he said, his hot breath caressing her cheek.

He was trying to meet her halfway, he had told her his story, opened himself up to her, letting her see through the leather, the smug grin and the cockiness. Tonight he hadn't taken her to his cabin like the other nights, he hadn't tried anything; he was waiting.

Waiting for her to meet him halfway.

"And you think I should stop running away from you?"

Her eyes holding his, Emma realized how closed their bodies were, not quite touching but almost, her hand holding his hook tightly.

"I don't have that answer, Emma, you tell me."

His voice was calm, measured; there was no rush, the moment felt like it was frozen in time. Perhaps it was Neverland, or the sparks between them making the time machine stop; Emma couldn't say, and for the first time, she didn't care.

She had stopped running.

And standing on her tiptoes, Emma met him halfway, placing a tender kiss on his lips, her free hand cupping his cheek. They had shared many kisses, lustful ones, passionate ones, but this one felt like it was their first.

No rush. No running away, no escaping, time frozen.

They were motionless, frozen in their timeline, like a picture taken by a photographer. Timeless.

Killian pulled her gently against him, bending down so Emma didn't have to stand on tiptoes to reach him, and he kissed her as tenderly as she did him.

It was their first kiss.

Carefully, Killian set her down, their noses still brushing against each other.

"I'm not running."

Her eyes holding his, Emma licked her lips, cocking her head to the side, giving him a shy smile to which Killian answered by a quick kiss.

"You're not. I always knew you wouldn't."

They stayed like that for what seemed to be hours, her in his arms, the race over, battles neither lost nor won, just them on the deck of the Jolly Roger, meeting each other after a very long, lonely journey in the desert.

Tonight they had found each other.

And tomorrow they would find Henry.

When the rain started to fall Emma laughed with relief, the rain feeling so good on her skin, like it was erasing all the tension that was still in her body; it felt like their moment was over, time had taken back its rights in their lives again, Neverland or not.

His coat was protecting her perfectly, but Killian was rapidly soaking to the bones, his hair falling into his eyes.

His intense stare held hers, asking her in silence: what now.

He was waiting for her.

Giving her a choice.

Standing still, waiting for her to come meet him halfway.

Taking his hook in her hand, Emma lead the way, sneaking in his cabin again, Killian following close on her heels.

She worked on his clothes, taking off the wet vest easily but his pants were a piece of work. Eventually they found a way, Killian's eyes never losing their intensity as he watched her move around him.

Looking in his wardrobe, Emma found something that resembled a towel and gently started drying Killian's hair before taking care of his neck, his chest and arms.

The magic of their moment was back, hanging in the air around them, a feeling of eternity rushing through her.

Or maybe it was just Neverland's magic wrapping around them.

Finally looking up, Emma bit her lip at the sight of those blue eyes staring at her, wishing she could read him like a book too, but there were so many emotions passing in his eyes for her to catch them all. Perhaps there was a tiny part of her that refused to read him, the weight of the blue eyes too heavy; she might have met him halfway, but she still had some way to go before accepting what this was.

Leaving him there, Emma took off his coat and dropped it on his chair before she went to his bed, pulling the sheets over her cold body.

Soon Killian joined her, embracing her from behind, his strong arms wrapped around her, his chin resting on his shoulder; when her hands rested on his hand and she nestled closed to him, Killian smiled and just like that, Emma started telling him the story of the orphan, of the girl who grew up dreaming of Neverland, the one who got her dreams broken. She told him about Neal and how she never trusted anyone after that. She told him why she left him up there on the beanstalk without telling him exactly what was on her mind.

Emma finally met Killian halfway, and the feeling of being safe was stronger than ever.

* * *

Review? Tissues?


	6. Six

**_Without preamble, the next chapter! _**

* * *

Emma was surprised at the turn the events had taken. What had started like a simple affair on the ship, a way to take her mind off the pain and the fear of losing Henry, had taken a turn she hadn't expected at all. Lying in Killian's bed, for once fully clothed with his arms holding her in a strong embrace, their fingers interlaced, her back to him, Killian had listened to her all night as she told him about the young girl she had been once upon a time. About how she dreamed and how she fell, how she hoped and how she grew up abruptly behind the bars of a prison.

To her surprise, Killian had turned out to be a great listener, letting her speak without cutting in, knowing when to hold her hand tighter if a memory started hurting a little bit too much. His lips would once in a while ghost against the curve of her neck or brush against her hair and Emma didn't cry; she had spent too many years crying over the events that had occurred during her eighteenth year, barely starting to move on when Henry had knocked on her door.

It had all started with Henry.

And she had lost him.

Maybe it was because of what he had told her earlier, how she should stop running or because he had held her when Emma thought she was drowning but tonight the walls she usually kept so high around her heart had fallen down, leaving her more vulnerable than ever. And surprisingly, she wasn't afraid of letting him see her in this state, nor was she scared to let him see her scars. Earlier she had seen his and it was only fair to let him see more of her, even if Killian would have never asked her to show him. And for that, Emma liked him even more; he never pushed her, or at least, not when it hurt too much. God help her, but Killian Jones was the most infuriating man she had ever met, pushing all her buttons, reading her from the first minute they eyes had met, understanding her like no one in her whole life had ever done, and yet, he respected her silences, the blank spaces in her story, grateful for the few parts she was ready to share with him.

"I've never told anyone about it", she murmured against their crossed hands, her lips brushing against his knuckles before pressing her cheek against his, loving the feeling of his scruff against her skin.

"Anyone at all?" He wondered, his arm on her waist pulling her closer against his chest, his voice sounding like the most beautiful song in her ear.

Emma shook her head and bit her lip before speaking.

"Not even Mary Margaret, and obviously not Henry", she said, a little laugh making her body shake, "It's not like I had any friends after that; I had no one to tell the story", she pausing and let a shy smile curl her lips, "It's not like I had anyone who cared about my story."

"I do", he whispered in her ear, his arms tightening around her as a reminder that he did care. That was one of the things she loved about him; Neal had given her hopes and dreams but only in the form of words and Killian was not only telling her, he was showing her. And after years of not trusting anyone, not buying any words or promise, Killian's actions and moves had showed her more than Neal's words ever had. Where Neal's words were full of fake promises, Killian's arms around her were real, promising her everything.

He promised her Neverland.

He had sworn to bring back her son.

And holding her all night long, he told her everything would be okay.

"I know," Emma breathed, turning her head so she could press a kiss against his chin, hoping he would understand how grateful she was for his presence, for his arms around her, for listening, for being him.

Another humorless laugh escaped her, echoing between their tangled bodies; "It's funny, you know," she said, biting her tongue at the irony of the situation, her hand playing with his in an attempt to calm her stormy thoughts, "one would thought that an orphan would never abandon someone, knowing how it feels." Looking up to the ceiling, Emma took a deep breath, the words falling from her mouth before she could catch them, as if Killian had casted a spell on her, opening her heart and giving him access to her every thought; it was like opening the gate that was hiding her pain and all the words and the things she had wanted to confess, to share with someone but never got the chance to because she never found the right person. If someone had told her once upon a time that Emma would end up sharing her story with Captain Hook she would have laughed at their face.

And yet here she was, in his arms, telling him everything. "You would have thought that an orphan wouldn't hurt another orphan in that way. Neal was an orphan too." She breathed heavily before adding sadly, "I was an orphan and I abandoned Henry."

"Neal told me he knew you", Emma told him before he could say anything. "When we were in New York, after you found us." The use of the three last words caused her to smile, reminding her of her parents' story, how they always find each other again and again, overcoming all the obstacles and crossing realms, and even when a curse had tried to separate them they still managed to find each other.

Killian had never stopped finding her.

Even when she had wanted him to stop.

Emma felt his body tense against hers, his thumb that hadn't stopped tracing circles on the back of her hand stilling.

"I knew him, once, when he was called Baelfire", he said it all in one breath, leaving her the time to process the information. Which, if she was honest with herself, surprised her more than she wanted to admit. And yet, Emma didn't pull away; her free hand covered theirs and the tips of her fingers caressed the back of his hand, hoping he would continue.

And he did.

"It was just after her death", Killian said but he never uttered his lover's name, as if pronouncing it would be like casting a spell and bringing back the ghost of her memory to his mind. Neal Cassidy's ghost or Bae's ghost, whatever his name, was already haunting them in the cabin. There were enough painful memories for a night, enough pain they seemed to share, which was something Emma hadn't seen coming at all. "I was in Neverland, trying to find a way to kill the Crocodile when I saved the boy from drowning."

Emma brushed her lips just slightly against his hand, waiting for him to tell her more if he wanted; she wanted him to but she wasn't going to push him. Just like he was never forcing her to tell him more than she was ready to share.

"At first, I wanted to use him to learn about the Crocodile's weaknesses, but the boy grew on me." His voice sounded so distant, like he was in another realm, another Neverland, in company of a lost boy, trying to save another orphan. "As much as I wanted to see in him the Crocodile's son, all I saw was her in his eyes. He was her son, and he was lost, without family, without home." Killian's words hung in the air for an instant and Emma guessed that it was the first time he had ever told that story to anyone; judging by the tone of his voice, it wasn't a happy memory at all.

"You wanted to give him a home", Emma spoke for him, never ceasing to caress his hand.

"Aye, that I did", he said and Emma could feel his sardonic smile even without looking at him. "I wanted to change for him", Killian breathed in her hair, giving himself time to collect his thoughts; "I was ready to give up my revenge. For him."

"What happened?" She dared asking, her hand leaving his to rest on his arm, realizing how deeply Neal, Bae, must have hurt him, how much Killian must have cared for the boy to give up his revenge for him. "But...", Killian trailed off and sighed, "he found out about his mother, and he accused me that I ruined his family."

"You di-" Emma said instantly but Killian cut her off, tightening his embrace.

"I know, but Bae couldn't see past his pain, so he accused me of his father's crimes. He wanted to get as far away as possible from me. On the last night he was on this ship I tried again to make him stay, but he was ready to depart, his bag set, and he told me that I was a liar and just a pirate who couldn't care about anyone but himself. I was mad and hurt, and I let the lost boys take him. Bae was furious when Felix and the band took him by force, and he called me out for being like his father. After that, the only thing I had left was revenge", Killian told her before quickly adding as if he needed to justify his actions; "I knew they wouldn't hurt him because the shadow was looking for me, not for him. I knew he would be fine. And it was better for him to be with the lost boys than to be alone in Neverland; he would have died from starvation if the land hadn't killed him first."

Emma chewed her lips, his words going around in her head and she couldn't help but think about Henry, her heart starting to beat faster in her chest.

"He's fine Emma, I know he is", Killian reassured her, knowing exactly what was happening in her head. It was something Emma still wasn't used to; the way he could read her, guess her thoughts so she didn't have to say them out loud. "Greg and Tamara wanted him alive and they aren't going to let anything happen to him. Plus, the shadow wants me, not Henry", Killian said and kissed her temple.

"Trust me?" He asked her, his voice suddenly low and full of hope.

Turning around so she was facing him, Emma let go of his hand so she could cup his cheek, her thumb tracing the scar he had under his right eye, wondering how he got that one, biting her tongue and leaving that story for another day. Killian looked at her, his eyes seeking an answer and Emma stayed silent for a moment, just caressing his cheek, her eyes drowning in his before she leaned in and kissed his lips softly, just a caress, nothing more.

"I trust you."

Killian sighted in her arms and blew away the hair that was falling in his eyes, a relieved expression relaxing his features as he brushed his nose against hers and closed his eyes, breathing her in.

"You wanted to give him home", Emma repeated, playing with his hair, loving how soft it felt on her fingertips, something she had noticed the very first day when she had put that dagger under his throat. "It's ironic, you tried to give him a home, and Neal tried to give me one before leaving me behind."

Opening his eyes, Killian cocked his head; "There is nothing more unfair than making someone believe in something and taking it away from them."

Emma's eyes widened, her lips parting a little. "I- I said the same thing to Henry, when I first met him", Emma explained when Killian asked her why she looked so surprised.

"I guess we are more alike than we thought", Killian concluded, letting a finger trace her bottom lip, his stare going between her mouth and her eyes before cupping her face with the only hand he had.

"We understand each other more than I was ready to recognize", she breathed against his palm.

"Aye", he said simply but so much was hidden behind that short answer; she saw the way his tongue darted out nervously, a gesture she had noticed before and one she was completely fond of. Emma couldn't say how long they stayed like that, never once looking away from each other's eyes, drinking each other's soul. Tonight had been quite heavy with emotions, revelations and stories, and it was certainly not a night she would forget anytime soon. It was the second time she spent a night in his cabin without sleeping with him, and it didn't seem to bother him at all; Killian closed his eyes, and it looked like he was falling asleep. Emma kissed his temple, curling against him.

"Wake me up before sunset", she whispered, knowing he was listening, a smile on his lips betraying him.

Just like he had promised her, Killian woke her in the morning before the sun replaced the moon in the sky. Though she hadn't asked for it, Emma didn't complain that his lips on her neck were the first thing she felt, especially when he smiled against her skin. She turned around to face him, her eyes still closed as his warm hand ran over her arm, waking her up slowly and in the best kind of way, at least until he left kisses along her chin, her cheeks and temple.

"Wake up, Swan."

Emma scrunched her nose, not ready to leave the warmth of his bed, of his arms, not ready to face reality, where they were... something to hide from the eyes of the others.

"You have sex hair", he whispered teasingly in her ear, his tongue darting out to trace the shell of her ear, making her shiver.

"How can I have sex hair without the sex part?" She replied with a sleepy voice, faking annoyance.

Cocking his head to the side, Emma watched him smile like a child, like she had just offered him a new challenge. Rolling her on her back, Killian placed himself above her, rubbing his nose against hers, his breath dancing dangerously on her lips.

"Is that a request, love?" He asked, punctuating his words by rocking his hips against hers.

Emma shook her head and closed her eyes; it was easier if she couldn't see that look in his eyes, the one making her tremble like a leaf, the one making her want him more.

"I want to sleep", she groaned, her body saying otherwise, her hands running over his biceps and shoulders.

"You aren't sleeping anymore", Killian mocked her, letting his fingers wander under her shirt, and before Emma could reply, he pressed his lips against hers, kissing her hungrily, his hand more insistent under her shirt, his fingers leaving a burning pattern on her skin. Pulling him closer to her, Emma hooked her leg around his waist, her hand cupping the back of his neck, kissing him back fiercely before she rolled them so he was on his back. Killian didn't seem to mind at all, letting himself settle against the pillows, Emma's hair falling around them like a golden curtain and he brushed it behind her ear gently as they pulled away.

Giving him her best smile, her hands on his chest, Emma stole another kiss before pulling getting up, leaving him speechless.

"What are you doing?" He sat up abruptly and watched her move around the bed, resting his forearms on his knees.

"I told you that I don't want my parents to see me sneaking out of your cabin", she said, smiling as she slipped on her shoes.

"You still have sex hair", he told her and Emma laughed, brushing her hair quickly and studying her reflection in the mirror.

"No sex hair without sex, so I think I'm good", she said and winked before walking toward the door.

"Wait", Killian called after her, jumping to his feet and grabbing his coat. "Take this; it's still raining."

Emma looked at him suspiciously and arched a brow; "Is this you being a gentleman?" She asked, reminding him of another realm, another adventure, another time, the memory making them both smile.

"Aye… I thought I already showed you how very gentlemanly I can be", he said, his voice low and seductive, his tongue doing that thing again as he arranged the coat on her shoulders before pressing her against the door. "Now you have another reason to come back", he whispered in her ear. "You have to give me back my coat", he added and opened the door for her, kissing her cheek before letting her go.

"Until the next time", he told her and her cheeks turned red, which didn't escape him, a self-satisfied smirk playing on his lips. "Don't make me wait too long, Swan."

* * *

Emma was watching the horizon and Neverland seemed to be closer than ever; Killian had told them that it was only a question of hours before they reached land. Her nails dug into the rail of the Jolly Roger because it was getting more and more difficult for Emma to hide her nervousness about Henry.

"Emma?" Snow approached her from behind, offering her a warm smile. "How are you feeling, honey?" Her mother inquired, visibly concerned, her hand covering Emma's. Gently, Snow's other hand traced the dark circles under her daughter's eyes, her lips forming a thin line. "You didn't sleep much did you?"

Emma jerked away from her hand, but immediately regretted her move when she saw the hurt in her mother's eyes.

"I'm sorry", she said quickly, not comfortable with that much affection although she had let Killian do the same and hadn't pulled away, to the contrary, she had asked for more. "I don't sleep much, I'm afraid for him."

"We all are", her mother nodded, looking away toward the island where Henry was a prisoner somewhere. "But we'll find him, right?" Snow said and squeezed her hand, "that's what we do in this family, finding each other."

"I know, and I hope it won't change with Henry", Emma said and rested her forearms on the rail, entwining her fingers together. "Hook said they won't hurt him." The use of his moniker felt out of place, like it was creating too much distance between them, tasting bad in her mouth after she had spent the whole night with Killian and hadn't seen any trace of Hook since they had started their journey.

Emma shook her head, reaching for her mother's hand as she felt another rush of panic.

"Because if they wanted to hurt Henry they wouldn't have taken him through a portal", she said and stepped closer, holding her mother's hand firmly. "It might be possible that Hook and Killian Jones aren't his only names."

Snow's eyes widened. "How so?" The tone of her voice was getting high in a funny way, and the look on her face was priceless.

"Remember Peter Pan?" Emma asked, pressing her tongue against her cheek, looking over her shoulder at Killian and David who were in a very lively discussion.

"Stop teasing, honey, and tell me. I'm not sure I like what you're implying." Almost closing her eyes, Snow waited for the truth and Emma thought that Killian wasn't the only drama queen aboard this ship.

"He's Peter Pan."

"He's Peter Pan", her mother repeated, looking at the sea, and then the sky, trying to process this information. "He's Peter Pan." She shook her head. "When did he tell you that?"

Emma felt her cheeks burning but managed to find words quickly enough so Snow didn't notice her distress.

"We talked and I guess he just told me."

"Just like that?"

Emma nodded, hoping that Snow wouldn't ask more, not ready to talk about their relationship or whatever it was they were doing, not when Emma herself hadn't yet processed what was happening, or found a way to describe it.

"I found his coat in your room."

Okay, that was something Emma hadn't seen coming at all.

"Have you talked about what you're doing?" Snow asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest, bending forward against the wind and holding her coat tightly around her.

"We haven't." Emma confessed, catching the lock of hair that was flying in her eyes and brushing it nervously against her ear. "I don't want to call it anything for now."

Snow looked pensive.

"You don't know him", Emma said, immediately feeling the urge to defend Killian, especially after what he had done for them, and how he had taken care of her all those nights, reassuring her again and again. Snow took Emma's hand between hers before speaking.

"I don't, and I do realize he's helping us a lot and I would be delighted to get to know more about him if you think he's more than the man we think he is, but Emma", she paused, weighing her words, "do you think that now is the right time to do this?"

Emma straightened up. "I thought those kind of things didn't happen when you expected them?" Realizing what she had just said, what was implied in her words, Emma pulled back for her mother's grip and put her hands in her pockets. "I don't know what to think anymore." She turned to face the sea, appreciating the cold caress of the wind against her too hot cheeks.

"Emma", Snow said, a hand reaching for her shoulder. "If he's the one, I would be the first to be happy for you, really happy, but I'm just asking if now is a good time. We are in Neverland, we have no idea what we're going to have to deal with. Time doesn't work the same here; it's frozen. What I'm saying is, give it time, don't push it, perhaps wait for us to get home to figure it out."

Snow's words started to make their way through to her, her reason telling her that her mother was right, but the other part, her heart, was screaming that this was what she had hoped for so long, and it was just the beginning of it.

"If he cares about you, he will understand", Snow added, her hand on Emma's arm squeezing gently before she left her to her stormy thoughts.

Emma didn't know what was worse, the inner battle she was experiencing, while the wind grew more violent, cutting her cheeks and messing with her hair, much like Snow's words messed with her resolve, or the fear of not finding Henry that never quite left her, except when Killian was whispering to her that they would find him, his arms around her.

Or maybe the way Killian looked at her in that precise moment, with a bright smile only for her so as not to give away too much because of her parents' presence.

She knew everything about his smiles even if she had no idea what she would do next, or tonight.

The ritual was pretty much the same. Emma couldn't sleep and kept rolling over and over in her bed, never finding the right position. It was kind of scary her fast she got used to sleep with Killian, how her body seemed to need the closeness of his to finally relaxed enough to rest.

How breathing seemed to be easier with his arms around her, his voice in her ear telling her to breathe.

Emma wanted to slap herself for thinking that way when she had spent so many years making fun of other girls being cheesy like that, laughing at those stupid romantic comedies where women needed a man, craving his very presence.

As if her life wasn't crazy enough with the fairytale thing.

A part of her couldn't help but wonder if Killian was doing the same right now, waiting for her in his cabin, waiting for her to sneak under his sheets; maybe he couldn't sleep either because he needed her as much as she needed him.

Her questions didn't give her a chance to fall asleep, only making everything worse, and her mother's words kept coming back to her, ringing in her mind, driving her crazy, or maybe it was just Neverland, and the grip of a timeless land, like Snow had said earlier?

It was getting out of control and it was scaring her.

Getting up from her bed, Emma grabbed a pair of jeans, put on a sweater, her coat and boots, almost forgetting his coat. She took it in her arms and studied it for a moment before looking at the mirror, arching a brow because it had taken her so long to notice that her coat was strangely similar to his; same color, same cut and same buttons, practically the same freaking coat, minus the leather.

Opening the door, Emma climbed to the deck and for what she thought was the last time for a while, already tasting the bitterness of what she was about to do, Emma sneaked into his cabin.

As she had imagined a while ago, Killian wasn't sleeping even if the moon was already pretty high in the sky. Perhaps it was due to the stormy sea outside that the ship needed its captain awake, just in case, or perhaps he was simply waiting for her.

Just like he had done all through their journey.

Waiting for her to meet him halfway.

"Emma", he greeted her, arching a brow at her outfit, much more used to see her sneaking in wearing her pajamas. "You brought my coat." Killian pointed it, still sitting in his chair, waiting for her to make a move.

Always waiting for her.

Would he wait for her again? Just a little bit longer until they find her son, leave Neverland and get back to their home? Emma hoped so, leaning against the door, trying to block the memories of what had happened against it, needing her mind to be as clear as possible, which was something that his scent, his presence and the memories of the moments they had shared weren't helping her achieve.

She needed to do things right.

Emma needed a plan, a list of priorities; finding her son, getting him out of there.

Henry was the priorities. She needed to focus on that and nothing else.

Not Killian.

And not on whatever they were doing.

They were in a timeless land and all Emma needed was a little time, just until she got her son back.

"Are you okay lass?" Hook asked her and Emma realized she had been silent for longer than she thought, lost in her thoughts. She backed off the door and handed him his coat.

"Thank you, by the way; it's a bad time to catch a cold."

"A gentleman would never let a lass only wearing her top run around like that, even though it is a pleasurable sight", Killian joked, a crooked smile on his lips.

Emma barely registered the joke, feeling like she did that day on the beanstalk when she had just chained him up; breathless, her heart hammering in her ears.

"What's happening Emma?" Killian asked her, standing up and coming to her but stopping as soon as she looked at him, that brief meeting of their eyes telling him everything.

_Fucking open book._

"I can't believe this", Killian chuckled mirthlessly, turning around dramatically, resting his hand on his belt. "You're running away, again."

"You didn't even let me speak", Emma said, anger spreading through her and making her hands shake.

"Oh don't even bother, lass, it's written all over your face."

Emma pressed herself against the door when he made a step toward her, resting his forearm next to her head.

Just like he did on a night much like this, the memory of it still vivid in her mind.

"I just need time, I have to focus on Henry and-"

"Have I told you a lie?" He cut her, the words hurting just like they did the first time.

"No."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Have I done something to offend you?"

"No."

"So why do this to me now? Why run away?" Placing a finger under her chin, Killian tried to force her to look at him.

"I just need to find my son. That's all I need now", Emma breathed, the words hanging in the air, an invisible barrier between them; something was broken.

Could it be her heart?

Crushed by her own hands.

"Very well."

Killian backed off, looking away from her, his eyes looking at the sea.

_His eyes, bright blue a moment ago, turned to dark storm blue._

"I just need time", she said one last time, hoping he would understand.

She wasn't backing off, or running away from him.

Just waiting for the right time.

Emma didn't leave immediately, wishing he would say something, do something. Watching him sit back down in his chair and lift his legs up on the desk, biting her lip to stop herself from saying something stupid.

Henry. She chanted to herself.

Henry was the only one who mattered right now; she needed to get her baby boy and then try to find out what was between Killian and her.

"You should go to sleep. We will reach Neverland tomorrow morning."

The neutrality of his tone shocked her; she had never heard him speak to her that way before.

"Alright."

Emma sighed and opened the door, walking away from his cabin fast, not knowing if she was imagining his voice calling for her or if he was actually trying to make her stay.

Nevertheless, Killian didn't follow her; he just let her go, so Emma returned to her room, not bothering to change, just taking off her coat before lying down. She curled in a ball and tried to breathe as best as she could, firmly believing that she did the right thing.

For Henry.

She had put her son first like a mother should. Like her mother had done with her by letting her go.

Emma understood that now.

And yet it didn't stop her sobs or the tears, it didn't stop her from feeling breathless again.

Killian wasn't here anymore to help her breathe.

She was on her own.

She didn't hear the door opening, or the silent footfalls on the floor, and then the mattress moved under Snow's weight when she lay down behind her daughter, holding Emma in her arms. Emma didn't even bother to ask her how Snow knew that she was breaking down in her room alone; she didn't bother to say anything, staying silent and breathing in her mother's scent, something like cocoa and cinnamon, something Emma had been attracted to all her life, finding comfort in that unique perfume because it reminded her of her mother.

Somehow, Snow had never really left her.

"It's going to be okay, Emma, we will find him", her mother lulled her to sleep, pulling the covers over them both, and finally Emma relaxed, safe in her mother's arms, even though her heart was beating too fast in her ribcage as if it were trying to tell her something.

As if it were trying to play the melody of the sea, the one she might have lost.

The one she might never hear again.

* * *

**_Hahaha you weren't expecting that were you? _**

**_You can all thank Montana for her incredible work as my beta-reader, baby, you rock. But also because she kicked my ass to make sure I finish this. I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! Thank you all for your reviews and your support, I'm so surprised by the feedback I got from you guys! I love you!_**

**_And don't worry, they will be fine;_**

**_Maybe_**

**_héhé_**

**_Review?_**


	7. Seven

**_Thank you all for your reviews, your feedback is incredible! I'm so glad you're enjoying that fic as much as I do! There will be at least 3 others chapters (including the epilogue) _**

**_Thanks to Montana for betaing faster than lightening! _**

* * *

"Neverland right in front of us, mates!" Killian yelled from the highest point of the deck, holding the helm with ease with his only hand, a devilish smile curling his lips. "Be ready to throw the anchor."

"Do I look like your sailor, pirate?" David shouted at him, opening his arms in a dramatic gesture, fighting his need to throw the pirate overboard, reminding himself that they needed Hook to guide them through Neverland.

"Certainly not, mate; my crew knew to respect their Captain."

"Not your mate."

"Still the Captain." Killian grinned like a child.

"Enough!" Emma jumped on the deck, shooting them a mean look, placing herself between them as if her presence would stop them bickering; surprisingly it seemed to work, David leaving the deck to, follow Killian's orders. "Hook, we don't know exactly how to throw the anchor, you should go with David, and help him, we are not your crew, we're a team."

Killian's expression softened into sadness, the use of the moniker hurting him more than Emma wished, but she was not able to call him by his real name in front of her parents.

"Alright, lass, but who's going to hold the helm?"

"I will." Emma replied, shrugging, "I can do it."

Studying her a moment, his tongue against his lips, Killian gestured her to come to stand next to him. Running up the stairs, Emma joined him and rested a hand on the helm.

"Don't be afraid to hold her firmly, she's not going to bite you", he breathed in her ear, his hot breath tickling her in a way that almost made her breathless, his hook on her waist placing her in the right position, his body next to her reminding her how much she had missed it last night, his hand on hers, the feel of his cold rings on her skin sending a shiver down her spine.

"Keep yourself light on your feet; she's an extension of you, so don't fight her, your whole body and her are one," Killian finished, stepping back from her, admiring her position or just ogling her shamelessly, like her father wasn't just a few meters away from them. Emma breathed heavily, hoping he wouldn't notice how red her cheeks were. "Don't worry Captain Swan, we'll moor soon, just keep her in the right direction."

Killian left her, her eyes following him as he joined her father who hadn't missed a thing; apparently not pleased at all, but Emma decided to ignore him and focus on her task.

But Killian's expression didn't escape her, he looked proud of her, and somehow Emma couldn't help but smile.

Maybe they would be fine.

The ghost of his touch still burning her skin.

Maybe was better than no hope at all.

Staring at Neverland facing them right in front of her, Emma smiled.

"I'm coming, Henry."

"We need a plan", David said, taking charge as the leader and the former prince he was, resting his hands on his hips. "We should split into two groups and start searching."

Killian shook his head. "That's not going to work; this is Neverland, not the Enchanted Forest, your majesty."

"And who are you to give me orders?" David stepped toward the pirate, ignoring his wife's who was telling him to calm down.

"Because I know that land. I lived there. And because I'm the Captain. But if you want to die…" Hook lifted his arms in the air, pointing to Neverland„ "I hope you kissed your wife and daughter goodbye because you won't make survive for more than two hours!"

"Can't you stop, both of you?!" Emma yelled at them. "We are here for Henry, remember? We're a team! Hook… Killian," she finally said, not able to keep saying his moniker, not when he was doing everything to keep them all safe, to help them bring her son back home; he was not Hook, despite the sharp hook replacing his hand, he was Killian Jones, and he was ready to risk his life to help them. "Killian is right," Emma continued, avoiding his eyes, feeling them staring at her intensely, choosing to focus on her father. "He knows Neverland better than any of us, we have to trust him."

David arched a brow, his whole demeanor changing suddenly, the tension disappearing. "Do you trust him?" The question hanged in the air for a moment, three pair of eyes staring at Emma, waiting for her answer. Emma only looked at her parents and took a deep breath before speaking. "I trust him with my life… And Henry's."

"Alright then", the prince shrugged. "What's the plan then, Captain?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest, saying Killian's title with bitterness.

Killian arched a brow, pleased with the turn of events, then presented them a map. "This is the land; I drew it myself," he said, anticipating Snow's question. " A lot of dangers are waiting for us; creatures, poisoned plants, the lost boys, but they aren't our biggest problem."

"What's our problem then?" Snow asked, worried about the answer, holding her breath just like Emma did.

"The shadow", Killian said darkly, looking down at the map, his tone implying that he didn't want to pursue that conversation.

"The shadow? What is that?" Snow shook her head and frowned.

"The dark shadow… Peter Pan's shadow."

Emma's eyes opened wide, her lips parting in surprise, "Wait, wait, your shadow?"

"Did I miss something?" Charming looked confused.

"He's Peter Pan", Snow explained calmly, eyes still on Killian, completely ignoring her husband's surprise.

"How is that even possible?" Emma finally looked at Killian, waving her hands in the air, trying to find some logic in this mess. "You have a shadow!"

"Too right, lass, but Peter Pan doesn't anymore."

"But how?"

"No one can leave Neverland, or that was the theory. You can only leave if the land allows you to. My shadow was the price."

"But you still have your shadow", Emma pointed him his shadow.

"Emma, honey, I think Killian…" Snow gave him a look, stressing his name as she used it for the first time, "I think what he's saying is that when he left, he left his childhood behind him, his innocence."

Emma took a moment to process this information; strangely, she felt even more connected to Killian than before because his shadow and innocence had been ripped away from him brutally, much like hers, before she was thrown in the real world like he was in Enchanted Forest.

Killian was right, they were alike, they had been forced to grow up and become adults on their own, all alone.

Closing her eyes, Emma came back to the present. "But how can your shadow, or what used to be your shadow, be our biggest problem?"

"Well, Neverland took my shadow for a reason", Killian said uncomfortably. "I was punished for leaving my friends... I was their leader." He made a deliberate pause, looking toward Neverland, suddenly far away from the Jolly Roger. "Every choice comes with a price; Neverland needed a leader, a king, and the land made sure it would find one."

"Are you saying you are a king?" David stared at the pirate, making a face which Emma would probably find hilarious if the situation wasn't so heavy with tension.

Killian's laugh broke the silence. "Were, a long time ago, but don't worry, I won't force you to call me majesty or anything like that; Captain shall be enough." He patted David's shoulder, making him jerk away as if Killian had bitten him.

"As I was saying, Neverland needs a leader; that's where the shadow comes into the picture. It's looking for a new leader."

"And..?" Snow looked at him, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Oh my God", Emma exclaimed, her lips parting in horror. "Why didn't you tell us about it sooner? Why didn't you tell me about it?" Her voice was rising with every word she said, hysteria taking over.

"Wow wow, calm down, what's going on?" Her father tried to reach for her shoulder in an attempt to calm her but Emma pulled away from his hand.

"It's not us who should worry about the shadow, but Henry!" Emma shouted at Killian. "He's in danger isn't he?"

"Emma-" Killian started, titling his head to the side, ignoring the presence of her parents next to him, "I..."

"Shut up! Don't say a word." Emma shushed him and pointed an angry finger at him. "You knew it! And you decided to keep it for yourself!"

"I didn't want to alarm you more than you already were." Killian stepped closer to her, his hand trying to reach for her but Emma jerked away from him too, almost toppling her mother. "You knew about this, you knew he was in danger!"

"Emma, I was trying to protect you."

"From what? The truth? You can't keep things like that to yourself! You can't hope I will just take it in stride! He's in danger! And it's all your fault!"

"Emma!" Snow called her out, "Honey, I don't think-"

"Don't honey me! Just…" Emma shook her head, trying to steady her breath and stop her hands from trembling. "Let's just focus on Henry; we need to get him back as soon as possible. We can't leave him."

Emma avoided Killian's eyes, knowing she was being incredibly unfair to him, but still too mad at him to apologize; she was tired, tired of the sea - something she had never thought she would get tired of. Truth was, she was mad at Killian for not trusting her to be able to handle the harsh, cold truth, mad at him because all those times they had spoken, when he had reduced her walls to dust, Emma hadn't been capable of seeing that he was hiding something. What else could he possibly have hidden from her?

Anyway, she had no time for questions and even less for their answers; taking the map from Killian's hand, Emma studied it for a moment, chewing her lip. "We have to stick together, but we need to be fast, Hook is the only one able to guide us on the island."

"Okay, but where should we start; the island is so big, we won't be able to cover it in just one day", Snow commented, studying the map over her daughter's shoulder.

"We won't have to." Killian spoke in a cold voice. "We let the shadow come at us. We find the shadow, we find Henry."

"But I thought it was dangerous?" David eyed the pirate, hands on his hips, hating to be left out of the conversation.

"You are all adults; you have nothing to fear from the shadow. You will all be fine."

"Okay then, let's go", Snow nodded.

Emma followed her mother and father on their way to the small boat they would used to reach the land, rolling the map before putting it in her pocket, Snow giving her a brave smile.

They were finally about to find Henry.

Just before Emma reached for her father's hand to get in the boat, she looked over her shoulder, finding Killian lost in his thoughts, still as a statue, his eyes darkened by something she couldn't quite understand, wishing that she could read him like an open book like he read her.

And then she realized.

Killian had said they would all be fine.

But what about him?

Emma's heart started racing, and not just for Henry.

And yet, her lips remained sealed as she sat down in the boat.

* * *

Neverland was nothing like Emma had imagined. The fauna was incredible and every flower seemed magical, but according to Killian they were _deadly_ magical; he told them to avoid every touch with those gorgeous red roses if they didn't want to die in awful pain. There was a low noise all around them that caused goosebumps to appear on her forearms. "The complaint of the Lost Boys," Killian explained, leading the group forward. "It's an old song that sounds more like cries of agony; it prevents the shadow to attack them and rip their own shadows."

"That's horrible", Snow said in horror, following behind Killian. "It is. Neverland isn't the dream land of the Lost Boys anymore; it became their worst nightmare."

"I thought it was supposed to be their home", Charming said, reaching for Emma's hand, noticing the way she was shivering. Emma smiled at him, not used to that kind of gesture, not from… her dad. Even if the moment couldn't be worse, his hand in hers felt good, and his touch reassured her.

David slowed down their pace so Killian and Snow went enough ahead of them not to hear their conversation.

"How are you feeling?"

Emma tilted her head, making a face at him. "I just hope we will find him fast and get the hell out of here."

"We will." He squeezed her hand gently, "but that's not what I was talking about. I was talking about what happened before we left Storybrooke."

"I'm not sure I'm following you", Emma frowned, looking at him suspiciously.

"Well, you lost Neal and-"

"Oh no, no, no, no, this is so not the conversation I'm having right now", Emma stopped him, waving her free hand at him as if the gesture would stop her father from saying another word, which didn't happen, sadly. He was more than determined to have this talk right now.

David used the grip on her hand to turn her around and force her to face him his expression softening considerably, an apologetic smile on his lips and something that looked like hoped shining in his eyes. "I just want you to know that there was a time when I thought I had lost your mother-"

"I don't like the turn of this conversation."

"And I found my way back to her, when I thought there was no hope-"

"You should stop." Emma shook her head but nothing seemed to be able to stop her dad from making his big speech.

"If Neal is your true love, you will find a way. Just like your mother and I did. You will both find your way back to each other", he finished with a smile, squeezing her hand.

"Neal is the person who left me in jail. He and August", Emma said, not knowing exactly what to say to stop him from talking nonsense about Neal; she knew that he was probably dead in the Enchanted Forest and her heart hurt at the memory of the man she used to love, because even after everything he had done to her, even if she will probably love him her whole life, he didn't deserve such a death.

"He did what?" David started to see red.

"Not so much true love, right?" Emma tried to make fun of it but the attempt failed, her father's eyes full of concern for her as he held her hand a little bit tighter. "It's fine, don't worry, I don't blame the dead." She shrugged, giving him what she hoped was a brave smile before letting go of his hand and walking toward Snow and Killian, David right behind her as they reached the rest of the group. "You really are blind are you?" Snow whispered into his ear, grabbing his arms.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look at her; it's right in front of your eyes… It's obvious; don't they remind you of someone else? Of us?" His wife cocked her head, pointing to Killian and Emma walking in silence.

David's eyes widened, he was feeling breathless and not in a good way. "But he's a pirate."

Snow arched a brow. "And I was a bandit and you were a shepherd; life surprises you where you don't expect it."

"But he's pirate, he's Captain Hook!' David argued because the idea of his daughter, the one who was holding his index finger with her tiny fist and fit in the crook of his arm, involved with a man like Hook made him shiver.

"I'm not so sure anymore of who Hook really is; the man is more than he seems to be. I think we don't have Hook in front of us, but a pirate called Killian Jones."

"Killian Jones?"

"Or Peter Pan, pick whichever name you prefer", Snow grinned, holding her husband's arm tighter as they advanced along the beach.

"Peter Pan, I still can't believe it" David repeated, shaking his head as if he was trying to clear his mind for all the madness. Snow nodded and her smile widened, finding the situation funny despite everything. "Let's find Henry and go home, this craziness is giving me a headache," the prince concluded, eyeing the pirate carefully.

* * *

"We should stay there for the night; I will go find some wood to make a fire and keep us warm." Killian stopped walking and turned around to face his companions.

"We can't stop now, Henry is out there!" Emma refused vehemently, shaking her head at Killian's orders; she had no strength to fight him tonight but Gods knew that if she had to she would.

"We can't find him at night, not in Neverland, not when the Lost Boys are already looking for us!"

"You're scared! What do you think a fire is going to do, smartass?" Emma shot back, anger spreading through her system faster than she wished.

"Not letting us die from freezing to begin with, and keep the shadow away from us, Swan!"

"Everyone just calm down!" David interrupted, his voice loud and severe, the tone of a leader. "As much as I hate it, Emma, Hook is right; we can't continue in the dark. We have to stop here for tonight."

Killian grinned with such pride that Emma wanted to slap him. "Thank you, mate", he said to David, bending down in a respectful bow.

"Don't push your luck, pirate."

"I love a chall-"

"Shut up and go find some wood for the fire", Emma cut him off, still mad at him as she sat down on a dead root near her mother, who wrapped her arms around Emma to warm her up.

"We can't let him go alone." David pointed at Killian who had already started to walk in the direction of the forest.

Looking over her shoulder and studying Killian's black silhouette, his shadow very real and there, Emma sighed heavily, her expression softening greatly, a sad smile on her lips. "He will come back, trust me, he will."

"Trust or not, I'm not risking our guide just for a fire; I'm going with him, just in case."

"You should talk to him", Snow said after her husband left with the pirate, putting an end to that awkward and heavy silence between them, rubbing Emma's arms to stop them both from trembling.

"You told me to talk to him…" Emma paused, closing her eyes as she let the words escape the barrier of her lips, "that's what I did and he didn't take it quite well."

"What did you tell him?"

"To wait?" Emma looked at her mother from under her lashes, making a sad face; she had hoped that Killian would have understood, that he would have told her it was fine and maybe kissed her forehead or better yet, kissed her properly and held her. She had hoped he would've told her that he understood and that he also thought it was the right thing to do, reassuring her by telling her that he would wait for her.

But he had put on his mask, and told her to leave. "I thought… Well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought anymore."

"Once, I told your father I didn't love him and that I couldn't be with him because I wasn't in love. I told him to find someone else to love." Snow looked away, smiling with melancholia at the memory. "But he loved me, so he didn't give up."

"Wow wow wow stop there, no one talked about... love or anything else", Emma stopped her, pulling away from her embrace. "I've never said such a thing."

"You may never have said it out loud, but how do you feel about him?" Snow tilted her head so their eyes could meet. "What do you feel for him? And don't-" she cut her, "don't tell me there's nothing happening between you; I saw it."

"Happened, past tense; whatever I thought was there isn't anymore."

"You can't be sure of that, Emma. I still think he cares for you. And you do right?"

"I… I don't know, okay? I just want to find my son and go home."

Looking at the sparkly sky of Neverland for a moment, Snow seemed to think about Emma's words carefully before looking back at her with that motherly look Emma still wasn't used to. "Remember what I told you the first time we met? If true love was easy we would all have it", Snow repeated the words by heart, grinning at Emma as she cupped her cheeks. "Twenty eight years ago I had to give you up for the greater good, so you could come back to us and save us. I said goodbye to my daughter, and to the love of my life; I spent 28 years without both of you. It wasn't easy, and yet, here we are today, together, as a family." Snow held her hand in hers, gripping it tightly. "If Killian is your true love, you will find your way back to each other; remember that he gave up everything to help you, and he for sure didn't do it for your father's eyes", she added on a lighter note. "Well, let's not go carried away, try to fix things with him first and then we can talk about marriage, although Killian will have to have your father's accord, and believe me, that's not going to be piece of cake. David still sees you as his little girl."

"I know; he gave me a speech earlier." Emma rolled her eyes, settling back to her previous position in her mother's arms.

"What did he tell you?"

"Pretty much gave me the same speech that you just did, but about Neal."

"Oh. Oh! Are you…" Snow dared to ask, her tone cautious.

"No! No, no, no," Emma said, rolling her eyes again. "I know you all think I do but I don't have feelings for Neal, not that way."

"Well I may have thought that for a moment, but I don't think so anymore."

"Oh really? Thank you, it's about bloody time." Emma laughed, feeling bad for doing so, especially because Neal had died in such an awful way. "You sound like him."

Emma frowned, not sure what her mother was trying to say.

"Killian, you're starting to sound like him."

"I don't", Emma shook her head.

"You just don't realize it Emma, that's all." Snow brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Just like a lot of other things."

Emma didn't get a chance to say anything because David and Killian were back with enough wood to keep them warm tonight.

Her mother's words ran over and over in her mind as Killian lit up the fire, his eyes briefly meeting hers, something she couldn't understand burning in their blue depths. Could she call what they had a relationship? Emma had no idea and it wasn't like Killian was helping her; somehow it seemed like the pirate wanted her to figure it out on her own, even though it meant he had to stay away from her. The whole situation was a mess and Emma had no goddamn time to waste on making things right or to fix whatever was broken; they were in Neverland, finally, and they had never been so close to getting Henry.

Once they arrived in Storybrooke, Emma would figure out what to do, and if her mother was right, if that something between them was real and what she thought it could be, then Killian and her would find their way.

If only she knew for certain that he would wait for her.

She was running in the dark, the echo of Henry's voice everywhere around her, but she couldn't see where he was. "Mom!" Henry kept screaming, begging her to save him. "Mom, please!" He yelled in pain, Emma screaming back that she was coming for him, knowing it's a lie because she couldn't find him, she wasn't capable of saving him, she wasn't able to protect him. Another scream came, freezing her blood, her heart stopping in her chest as she looked around to find just one big shadow with eyes too bright for her to look at them mocking her.

"Henry!" Emma woke up screaming, sweating in her jacket and looking around in panic, David jumping to embrace her and starting to rock her gently.

"It's alright sweetheart, it's alright", he whispered in her hair, kissing her temple. "You just had a bad dream." Emma fought his arms around her for a moment before finally giving in, letting her father hold her and resting her cheek against his shoulder, still trying to steady her breathing. "We will find him sweetheart. We will bring him home and we will all be fine."

Emma nodded, her body still trembling, and looking up she noticed Killian looking back at her with concern; she couldn't find the strength to look away from his too blue eyes. One part of her wanted to remain in her father's arms, but the other wanted her to reach for Killian because he had been the one to wash away her nightmares on the ship, and if Emma wasn't mistaken, he was feeling the same urge.

They both stayed still, not making any move toward the other, like frozen in time, timeless in the timeless land, not daring to move to reach for each other.

And somewhere in the background Emma could hear the sound of a silent melody going "maybe, maybe, maybe."

But for that maybe to become something more, to grow, they needed to find Henry first.

"There's someone over there", Snow observed, pointing her finger at a silhouette staring at them from the forest; the only thing they could see was its bright eyes and Emma felt goosebumps appearing on her forearms. David noticed immediately and rubbed her arms in a fatherly way.

"It's him", Killian said, getting to his feet quickly. "It's the shadow."

"How did he find us?" Snow inquired, worried and not feeling safe at all, suddenly wide awake.

"The Lost Boys", Killian thought out loud. "He was waiting for us."

"It's not the shadow, it's Henry!" Emma cut them, running toward the forest and calling for him.

"Emma!" Killian yelled before running after her. "It's not him, it's not Henry, not really!" He grabbed her wrist to whirl her around.

"Let go of me Hook! Let go of me!" She fought him. "It's Henry! It's him and I'm not letting him go."

"Listen to me, Emma", he said her name affectionately, trying to get through to her. "I know it's Henry, but look at his eyes. It's not quite your son."

"I don't care!" She shoved him off and Killian almost lost his balance; Emma was almost at the edge of the forest when Henry ran away from her.

"Henry!" She called once again, her heart beating fast in her chest as her blood burned in her veins. "Henry! It's me!"

From afar, Emma could hear Snow and David calling for her, but she didn't have time to answer them because Henry was here, so close, and she couldn't let a chance to save him and bring him home slip through her fingers. "Henry!" And suddenly Henry or the person who seemed to be Henry stopped running and faced her, the shadow floating in the air above him, Henry's eyes too bright and too magical. "What happened to you?" She whispered more to herself than for him.

Snow, David and Killian reached her side and Killian gestured for her to back off, but Emma still refused his help; she was about to speak when the shadow above Henry dashed forward and grabbed her parents. David tried to fight its grip but the shadow was stronger than them both.

"Henry!" Emma stepped closer. "This isn't you!" Killian's arms were around her before Emma saw him coming. "Let me go! Let me go!" She tried to hurt him, elbowing him as hard as she could.

"Emma! Can't you see it's not him!" At Killian's words, Henry laughed loudly and it didn't sound like him at all; it was cruel and devilish, everything Henry wasn't.

"I'm the king of Neverland", Henry said in a low rough voice that was nothing but magical, like something was speaking through him, "You abandoned me", he yelled. "You gave up on me."

Emma stepped back at his accusation, her eyes widening in pain. "I- I didn't."

"Emma! Don't listen to him, it's not Henry!" Snow shouted in pain, the grip the shadow had on her getting tighter and tighter as David tried to hit the shadow in a futile attempt to free them. As if it was trying to shut them up, the shadow growled.

"You're no king, lad!" Killian called the shadow out, letting go of Emma to place himself in front of her, protecting her from the danger. "I'm the king of Neverland, and as the king of Neverland, I, Killian Jones, order you to release the kid!" Killian straightened up, saying each word with force and conviction.

"You abandoned me!" The shadow screamed, and Emma finally realized that it wasn't her the shadow was talking to; it was talking to Killian. "You are no king anymore!" The shadow came closer, its voice echoing and making the land shake beneath their feet, its shady nose close to Killian's face. "I do not know any Killian Jones, and I don't answer to your orders." Standing completely still, Emma couldn't move even if she wanted to, her heart pounding fast in her chest; she neither believed nor understood what was happening.

"It's not the kid you want, you bloody demon! It's me! So go ahead! Take me!" Killian yelled, opening his arms wide as if offering himself to the shadow. "You're mad at me for leaving, so go ahead, take me! Take me!" He yelled louder, anger coming off of him in waves. "Release them, release them all!"

The shadow seemed to consider Killian's words, moving up and almost reaching the trees' height; Emma waited, her heart skipping a beat when she rested her hand on Killian's shoulder, but he didn't look back at her, his eyes focused only on the demon. David and Snow fell heavily on the sand, the demon finally releasing them, and David checked on his wife with worry as Emma ran to them to see if they were okay, leaving Killian alone with the shadow.

"Release the boy", Killian demanded once more, but he was walking toward the shadow like a man walking to his death. "Release him, you know he's not the one you want."

"Killian!" Emma called him, seeking his eyes; she had no idea what he was doing but it couldn't be anything good.

"Release the boy. I, the once upon a time lost boy, King of them all, King of Neverland, Peter Pan, order you to release that boy."

"Killian!" Emma cried, finally understanding his words back on the ship completely, he had said they would all be okay without including himself. It was him the shadow was after, it was him the demon was craving for.

"I promised you I would bring back your son, Emma." Killian spoke slowly, not sounding scared at all, but Emma's limbs were shaking, her parents behind her not able to speak either.

"This is me, honoring my promise; you're going to bring your son home." Killian smiled, looking absentmindedly at the ground. "What am I compared to your son?" He finally turned his head in her direction, his gaze holding hers. "I'm just a pirate. And this is the right thing to do."

"Killian don't, please, don't." Emma stood up and started walking carefully toward him, watching the shadow from the corner of her eyes, her hand reaching for his. "Please."

Killian looked up at the shadow and then closing his eyes, smiling at the face of death, welcoming his fate after all those years of sorrow and pain. "You should be happy, Emma, your son is going to come back to you. You're going home."

The shadow looked at them before finally releasing Henry, the boy falling unconscious in the sand. Emma ran to him, her knees hitting the ground violently as she bent down to grab him and pull him into her arms, kissing his forehead and inhaling his scent like the very air. "Henry, Henry," she chanted in his ear, holding him tightly against her.

"I held my promise, you are going back home", Killian winked at her and grinned. "You're going home with your boy; I'm giving you what you wanted, Emma. You're going home." He said under his breath, sounding so relieved.

"But what about you?" Emma cried, not able to hold back the tears, her heart shattering in pieces; she wasn't ready to lose anyone, not ready to lose him, and she hated herself for realizing it too late.

She needed him, and she cared for him more than she had ever let herself acknowledge.

"What about you?" Emma repeated in a broken voice, her words seeming to echo, weak and yet meaningful; she didn't care that she was vulnerable at that moment because Killian was an orphan too, and he deserved to go home too; she needed him to come home with her.

_She wanted to bring him home; Emma didn't want him to be alone anymore. _

_Don't leave me. _

Emma caught sight of her father looking devastated for not being able to do more, for not being able to hold onto the legend of Prince Charming and save his kingdom. Alas, they were in Neverland, and the only king here was Killian, and the shadow wanted him, and no one else.

"I'm going home too", Killian said and the shadow flew at him, hitting him so hard that he lost his balance and fell as the shadow disappeared into him. Emma called his name and held Henry tighter against her when David rose and went to check on Killian who was still lying unmoving on the ground, tears rolling down her cheeks because she was not ready to hear the cold, harsh truth.

Snow came from behind her and put her hand against Henry's cheek, sighing in relief, her free hand on Emma's arm trying to give her some comfort.

"Emma", David called, his eyes cautious when they met hers, Emma's cries growing stronger and more uncontrollable. She kissed Henry's forehead and closed her eyes, trying to collect her thoughts and her emotions, focusing them all on Henry, on her baby boy finally coming back to her, trying to stop the melody playing in her head because it was telling her that the maybe she had hoped for was dead; the promise of a happy ending crushed into dust and thrown away to the wind. Neverland, the land Emma once thought could be her home had first taken her son, and now it took the promise of something magical and full of hope that was supposed to be waiting for her when they returned home too.

"I'm so sorry Emma", Snow brushed her hair and wiped her tears away, and Emma nodded without saying anything, the words dying in her throat because it was too late; she should have done it sooner, she should have found the strength to say it out loud.

Killian had been more than a maybe.

* * *

_**Reviews? Death threats? Tears? **_


	8. Eight

**_Here it is! After so long! Thank you all so much for your patience/feedback/reviews i'm so glad you love that story and I love your reactions! For those who keep asking about Regina and Gold, they aren't on the ship because when I started that story, the final hadn't aired yet, but still they will make an appearance really soon!_**

**_I hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

It was either early in the morning or late in the evening, but Emma found herself quite lost in time, and for the first time since she had landed in Neverland, she didn't care.

Henry was back.

They hadn't talked much, the boy had been quite tired since the shadow had freed him from its hold, and sleep was all he wished for, curled under the covers Emma had found in an old wardrobe in her cabin. Her son was now sleeping peacefully and, she hoped, without dreams, next to her.

It was quite shocking how one could change in such a little time; Henry's hair had grown longer, and the dark circles under his eyes made him look older than he was. Brushing dark strands away from his forehead, Emma lost herself in the contemplation, finding her heart beating almost regularly again now that her lost boy had been brought home.

Home.

The word rang in her mind, making her joy fade away. Home tasted bitter on her tongue as she remembered the pirate who had sacrificed his life so she'd be able to hold her son tonight. Swallowing the lump stuck at the back of her throat, Emma shifted in her bed, careful not to wake up Henry as she sat up.

Her father had carried the pirate on the ship, his lifeless body heavy in David's arms as he took the pirate to his cabins, and now she was waiting for her father to come and tell her he was gone.

He had given her everything; his life, and his _heart, _a mean voice inside her head added in a whisper.

Henry's arms around her waist tightened, breaking her out of her reverie, her son shifting and turning around in bed; when someone knocked on the door, Emma didn't give herself time to think, only telling the person to come on in.

"I'm sorry to wake you up", Snow said, walking on her tiptoes toward the bed.

"You didn't wake me; I couldn't sleep anyway."

"Nightmares?" Her mother asked as she sat across the bed, tilting her head to meet Emma's eyes, her hand finding her daughter's cold one and squeezing her fingers gently.

"You should light a candle; that's what your father used to do for me when I had them."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Does that trick even work?"

"Does it matter? What's important is that I believe it works", Snow let her eyes fall on Henry's sleeping form, her hand tangling in his fluffy hair tenderly. "Henry believes it."

Unable to find something to say, Emma smiled at her mother, holding onto her hand.

"Why are you here? Is everything alright?" She finally asked in a low voice, not voicing her worries for the pirate.

"He's got a fever, or we think it's a fever; it's hard to tell what it is, but we need to get him out of his clothes."

Emma's throat went dry.

"I think your father would rather jab himself with his own sword than undress the pirate", her mother chuckled but quickly turned serious when she continued. "Can you help?"

Not answering, Emma looked at Henry, curled against her side, torn between staying here in bed with her son, and helping the pirate recover.

_You owe him at least that._

"I will stay with him", Snow promised her, taking off her coat and sitting down next to Henry. "Don't worry. You can go."

Sighting heavily, not seeing any way out of this but to go because she had made her choice the moment she had sneaked into his room, Emma got up and put on her boots, reached for her jacket and turned around one last time to look at Henry and her mother, to see her giving Emma an encouraging smile.

God helped her.

David was waiting for her upon the deck, leaning against the door of the captain's cabin, hands on his hips, "I don't like it."

"Do you want to do it?" Emma attempted a joke, cocking a brow at her horrified father.

"Doesn't mean I don't like it", the tall man shook his head, coming to stand in front of her. "I still can do it."

"You want to see a naked pirate?"

He didn't laugh, his eyes narrowing, "Do you?"

Emma's eyes widened, not expecting that kind of question coming from her father, no matter his age. Burying her hands in her backside pockets, she shifted her weight on one feet and then the other before she shrugged.

"Someone has to do it."

David turned around, clearly pissed off, and let out an annoyed sigh.

"If he gives you any problems, just call me."

Nodding, Emma bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying that she had already seen the pirate naked more than once, and that she was perfectly able to handle him.

"How bad is he?"

"He's not good", David's expression smoothed into something more tender. "But hey, at least he's alive. Hook was lucky, that thing looked nasty."

"Yeah he was", Emma breathed out, the awkwardness of the moment weighting on her shoulders as she looked at the man who was her father.

"I wish…" David took a step forward, "that once we get home, we spend some time together. Just to get to know each other."

"Sounds like a great plan to me", Emma cut off his babbling, her words having an instant effect.

"Great, then."

Resting a hand on her shoulder, David opened the door of the cabin, squeezing her arm gently.

"Your cooked pirate is waiting."

"Cooked?" Emma rose a brow at him and stepped into the cabin, the heat of the room hitting her pleasantly, until she caught sight of Killian's trembling form on the heavy bed.

"David?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you", Emma whispered, noticing that she had held her breath all along, before she closed the door on her father who was grinning back at her.

Xxx

The room was dark despite a candle burning on the desk next to the bed when Emma came in, Killian's form appearing slowly as her eyes got used to the dim light. She took a hesitant step toward the bed, realizing that Killian seemed to be having a nightmare, his body arching off the mattress.

"Killian", Emma called him once, twice, her hand resting on his shoulder and shaking the pirate, trying to wake him up.

A complain escaped his lips, his body shivering and trembling, and Emma framed his head between her palms and kneeled in front of the bed. She gripped his bicep and shook him again.

"Bloody Hell", Killian opened his eyes suddenly, the white of his orbs reddened by the pain and the fever. "Came to check out your favorite pirate?" He said with a rough accent, painted with pain.

"Don't be a smartass", Emma shook her head, looking him over and trying to figure out how to get him out of all this leather.

"Love what you see? Please, Swan, touch for yourself."

Emma arched a brow, "Really? We're back to pet names?"

It was not fair coming from her, but still, in the warmth and safety of his cabin, those names made them strangers, widening the gap between them, the one Emma herself had created growing bigger and deeper.

She didn't want that.

"Are you going to call me Hook again?" There was such pain in his voice when he spoke, and it wasn't just the curse that had hit him; it was something deeper, something she had known since they had climbed the beanstalk but chose to ignore.

He was alone without anyone looking at _him._

_Killian Jones._

"Not if you call me Emma", she allowed herself a smile, returning to her original task, which was getting him out of those sweaty clothes.

"_Emma, _what are you doing here?" He pronounced her name like a caress, like she was something precious, like she mattered.

"We have to get you out of those clothes."

"Missed me?" Killian gave her a crooked smile, or half of it, wincing with pain. "Can't say I'm surprised."

There was no bitterness in his words, but also no hope; he was just filling the silence the best he could with all he had left.

"Better me than my dad", her attempt at a joke made Killian laugh without humor.

"Aye, I guess better you than the prince", he arched a brow, craning his neck to meet her eyes as his tongue flickered over his bottom lip. "Besides, there's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Just help me get the coat off", Emma rolled her eyes at him, working the stiff fabric off of his shoulders, Killian gasping in pain when she made him half sit up. Emma apologized meekly and started unbuttoning his vest, biting her lip as she focused on her task.

"Are you mad at me?" Killian broke the silence, and Emma lifted her gaze to meet his, her head tilted to the side.

"I'm not", she answered, looking away from him and working the buttons on his shirt open. "But it was a stupid move; you could have died."

"I'm very alive; can't you feel it?" He offered her his best cocky smile, trying to arch his back, but the motion made him squirm in pain. Putting her hands on his chest, she pushed him back down on his bed.

"You won't be alive for long if you keep acting like that; my father is more than ready to kick your ass", Emma said with a playful smile, finally opening the shirt and staring for longer than necessary at his bare chest, her brows coming together in a frown. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting; maybe scars, or blood, or something else like that, but definitely not nothing. That thing had hit him pretty violently, and things like that should leave marks.

"It's not visible", Killian answered her silent question with a voice empty of innuendo but full of seriousness, his hand taking hers and placing it above the place where his heart was beating. "They are in here, the scars you're looking for."

His eyes were intense, looking at her in _that _way, making her shiver, her fingers burning at his touch. No words came to her mind because even though she knew he was in pain, nothing she could say would ease it, or, rather, she wasn't ready to say what he needed to hear because no matter how she felt right now, the realization she got on the beaches of Neverland felt out of place. Besides, Emma wouldn't take the risk of saying something that he might forget the next day because of whatever fever he was suffering.

The knot in her throat didn't go away though, not when Killian's fingers were gently brushing over hers, not when the beats of his heart were hammering under her palm; he looked so vulnerable at that moment, sweat rolling down his temple as he unsuccessfully tried to control his trembling.

Killian might think she couldn't see it, but Emma could definitely feel the way his body tensed.

There was a muted question lingering in the depths of his blue eyes, a proposition, still unspoken and devoid of words, but still meaningful and taking her breath away.

_Will you stay with me?_

Smiling faintly, Emma took back her hand and pulled the shirt off his shoulders and arms, letting Killian lay back in his bed. Emma was careful not to meet his eyes, not_ now _when she was_ e_xamining the contraption holding his hook in place, which her father had already taken off, much to Emma's surprise. David had probably done it when Killian was unconscious because knowing the pirate, he would have knocked out the prince, fever and all.

"Do you really have to take it off?" Killian asked, shifting in the bed and trying to get away from her hand. "Your father already took my hook."

"Did you want to stab yourself in the eye?" Emma pulled him to her, her hands reaching for the straps, Killian's hand covering her fingers to stop her.

"Please. Leave it on."

Narrowing her eyes at him, Emma decided to do as he wished, and Killian sighed in relief when she let go of the straps, her hand still wandering over his arm. There was nothing sensual about it; she was just incredibly curious, because during sex she hadn't really had the time to figure out what was holding his hook in place. Tracing the ridge of his bicep, Emma noticed that he had some kind of marks on his arms, like old scars or burns.

"What happened?"

Blowing away the hair falling into his eyes, Killian let out a long sigh.

"You don't want to know, boring story." His hand joined hers on his arm, trying to get her to change the subject. "You still have to help me take off my pants."

"What happened?" Emma repeated. "I can still call David to help you get out of those."

At least, she managed to make him laugh, even if the motion had him gasping in pain. His ribs probably, remembering their meeting with a car.

"That's my lass. They are only burns."

"That I can tell."

Shooting him a pointed look, Emma encouraged him to continue, which he did, after swearing against insufferable lasses. Her fingers leaving his arm, Emma crossed her hands in her lap, waiting for him to tell her how he got the burns.

"A few of them are from the time when I still had my crew, the rest happened on the beanstalk, and the most recent ones must be the result of an encounter with a lost shadowy boy."

The surprise of his revelation made her gasp, "When?"

"Climbing a beanstalk with a hook isn't really the best idea one has."

"But how-"

Killian cut her off, trying to sit straighter in his bed, finally leaning against the headboard.

"The more you force on the straps, the more they burn the skin", his tone implied he was annoyed with the whole conversation, his gaze wandering around the room as he clenched his jaw hard. "Can't you just take care of my pants?"

"This is barbaric."

"Aye, aye, pirate, love."

"How could I have missed those?" She questioned more herself than him, her brows forming a line, her eyes fixed on the scars.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, love… the few times I was naked you were quite busy, if you know what I mean", Killian chuckled pausing only because Emma lifted up her chin and met his eyes.

Their gazes locked for a long minute, both remained silent, challenging the other to dare break it. Shaking her head, Emma tried to breathe, remembering that the pirate was hurt and in pain, and what the original motive of her presence here was. Plus, he was just faking he was alright so they could play this little ping pong game they so loved a little longer.

"Since you seem to be okay, I'm sure you can take your pants off yourself."

"Don't give me the cold shoulder, love", Killian said, settling heavily against the pillow, his face paler than before. "There's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Who said I want to see it again?" Emma said rapidly to shut him up before she realized what she had implied. Killian's face fell before his expression turned into something darker and he put distance between them.

"Point taken", he whispered, his voice barely audible in the dimly lit room, the candle almost burned to its end. There was an uncomfortable gap between them that Emma had created with her reckless words; Killian's hand closed into a fist and she saw him swallowing hard. Emma leaned closer to the bed, worrying her bottom lip between her lips, grateful that the pirate had decided to remain silent as she removed his boots and pants, ignoring the wave of heat forming in her belly at the sight of him naked.

Jumping to her feet abruptly, Emma turned in the direction of the door, fully aware of Killian's eyes on her back, her breathing coming in little gasps; her hand was already on the knob when she blinked rapidly and turned back, her shoulders shaking.

"Thank you, for bringing my son back."

"I made you a promise once", the pirate said, shifting in his bed as if he was uncomfortable, not looking at her as he spoke.

"I know. But thank you, for everything", Emma said with an awkward smile, her hands buried in her back pockets, her weight shifting from one feet to the other. "Thank you, _Killian."_

"You're welcome, _Emma."_

It was only when she closed the door that Emma made the connection.

David had lighted a candle for Killian to chase his nightmares away, just like he used to do with her mother and Henry.

If her own father, despite every resentment he had for the pirate, could do that for him, why couldn't she?

_xxx_

"Little bit to the right, yeah, just like that", Emma gestured to Henry, who was feeling much better and bad joined her upon the deck to steer the ship.

It turned out that her few lessons with Killian combined with Henry's experience from that time they headed back home from Manhattan, they could do just fine.

And besides, it wasn't as if they could run into a wall or something like that. Seeing Henry having the ghost of a smile was warming her heart; since she got him back, Emma hadn't seen him this happy, or at least not as sad as he was before the whole mess started.

Fluffing his hair tenderly, Emma let him stay at the helm of the Jolly Roger, admiring how good he looked sailing the ship and not fighting the sudden feeling of pride invading her.

"You look like a real pirate."

Henry turned his head to her, smiling, "Just like dad."

"Your dad was no pirate, kid. A thief, yes, but not a pirate."

"But he knew how to steer a ship", Henry protested, his smile fading at the use of the past. "Pirate."

"I thought pirates wore eyeliner, kid?" David interrupted them, walking up the stairs. "If I recall your father wasn't a fan of it."

"I could ask Hook", Henry said tentatively, seeking his mother's approval. "I'm sure not all pirates wear eyeliner."

"Let the pirate rest, kiddo", Emma rolled her eyes. "He needs it, but I'm sure you can ask him when he feels okay again."

There was a pregnant pause, during which Emma and David exchanged a long look, not sure what to say to Henry, how to comfort him concerning his father; it was like walking on eggshells and Emma hated how the sadness lingered in his eyes, erasing the innocence Henry used to carry.

Maybe Neverland had made one more lost boy.

"I miss him."

"I know", Emma wrapped her arms around him, her chin resting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Do you miss him too?"

Her embrace loosened a little bit at his question.

"I… I do", it wasn't a lie; it was hard to tell did she miss the man who used to be her lover even if after that confession Emma wasn't sure of her feelings for him. Killian wasn't exactly helping her decide.

"It's unfair, we were just so close to finally being happy, to being a real family, you, dad and me, and mom", Henry protested, pushing her gently away before jumping down the stairs. "I just wish he was up there with me, just like the last time."

Henry shrugged helplessly and ran to the other point of the ship.

"Give him time", David grasped her by the arm before she could follow Henry. "He will come around. He didn't just loose his father. He also lost his dream."

The deck of the ship suddenly looked really interesting to Emma, "I… I told Neal I loved him. Right before he died."

Stepping closer, David made a move to hug her but then he stopped himself, probably not sure whether Emma would accept it or not; as if he didn't trust himself not to reach for her, her father crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Wait, I thought you liked the pirate."

"I… I do, but it was before, I don't know wh-"

"Do you love Neal?"

"I don't know, he fell, and then he was about to let go… I don't know, it was all sudden", Emma said in a rush. "I don't know how I feel about him, but it doesn't matter now. He's dead."

"Emma…"

"No", she cut him off, waving her hand. "I don't want to talk about it, Neal is gone, Killian is hurt and we're finally going home; there's nothing to talk about."

"You can't keep up like that, honey", David said in a patronizing tone, making her blood boil.

"What do you want me to say?" Emma pulled away from his grip, her hands resting on her hips. "I'm on a pirate ship, with a sick captain, my parents and son, we're coming back from Neverland, and heading to Storybrooke where the Evil Queen and other mom of my son is going to throttle me for leaving without telling her. Oh, and I lost Neal in a freaking magical portal!"

It was only once she was done that Emma realized how she was trembling, her eyes prickling with unshed tears as she brushed away her hair from her eyes. Something within her threatened to break at any moment, her knees starting to give up of her; the lack of sleep wasn't doing her any good because Emma hadn't been able to close an eye last night, too worried about Henry and also about Killian's state.

"Shhh", David pulled her in his arms, wrapping her in a reassuring embrace and kissing her temple tenderly, his fingers sifting through her hair. "It's okay, let go, Emma, let go."

Gripping the back of David's jacket, Emma held onto him as she breathed out, trying to steady the hammering of her heart.

Let go.

_She wasn't ready._

Xxx

Back in bed with Henry next to her, Emma couldn't stop her thoughts from wander to Killian, trying to figure out what they would do once they arrived in Storybrooke. She knew there was something between them that wasn't just sex, nor simple friendship. Something about him made her blood rush faster in her veins, goosebumps appearing on her forearms at the very mention of the pirate.

But looking at her son, Emma also remembered the other man she had said she loved before he let go of her hand. Closing her eyes, Emma could still hear the "I love you" Neal had said after years of her thinking she hadn't been worth loving. Henry's presence didn't help her gathering her thoughts; she kept being torn between what she felt for a dead and lost man, and what she was feeling with Killian. He had made her his priority, putting everything else behind, even giving up on his revenge to help her find Henry.

Killian was the man that had held her when it was hard to breathe, when she felt herself drowning in the guilt and the fears of losing Henry. He was the one who was with her at night, never interrupting her in her story, but always, always listening to her carefully and holding her hand.

The man who waited; he was waiting for her to meet him halfway.

Pushing the covers off of her body and pulling them back over Henry, Emma grabbed her boots and zipped them on, and taking her coat from the chair she quickly arranged it on her shoulders, pulling out the hair trapped under the lapels and heading toward the captain's cabin; she was pretty sure that her parents were asleep by now, although her mother had spent quite a long time looking over the pirate to make sure he was okay.

The rain was falling outside, making her jog; she tried to cover herself as best as she could with the small lapels of her coat, holding her breath all the way to her destination. Pushing the door open, Emma sneaked into his cabin; _just like old times_, she thought to herself, not fighting the smile on her lips, not quite knowing the reason behind it.

The typical scent of him, the hot candle and of rum made her smile widen; Killian was asleep, nightmares still haunting him judging by the way he was shaking. Emma quickly took off her coat and walked around the bed, grabbing the chair near the desk and sitting down next to him. With a tentative hand, she tried to stroke his cheek to wake him up, loving the feeling of his scruff on her fingertips way too much considering the circumstances.

"Killian, wake up."

Nothing she did seemed to get the pirate out of his reverie, sweat rolling down his temple as his lips parted, a cry getting muffled by his pillow. Trying to get him on his back, Emma bent down and laid her hand on his shoulder; the task wasn't easy because the pirate kept arching his back no matter how she tried to shake him.

Her face was only a few inches away from his, her hair caressing his cheeks.

She didn't know exactly how she felt about him but she definitely cared; it was the first time in her life that a man she had no relationship with except the incredible sex, fought for her and waited for her.

_He's still waiting._

_For her._

So, Emma leaned in, closing her eyes and hoping she wouldn't make a fool of herself, pressing her lips delicately against his, her thumb stroking his cheek gently; she only pulled away when she felt him breathe a sigh of relief, his demons seeming to leave him alone.

Killian fell heavily against the pillow, his features relaxing, and Emma straightened, staring at him longingly; she tried to make sense of it, a tiny voice in her head whispering things she wasn't really ready to hear even though it meant denying herself the answers to her questions. Making sure the pirate wasn't too cold or too hot with two fingers, she put a lock of hair behind her ear and laughed at her own nervousness; it wasn't their first kiss, but there was something about the warmth of his lips she still felt ghosting over hers that made her heart beat a little bit faster.

Taking her coat and preparing herself to leave, Emma shot one last look at the pirate, who was now peacefully sleeping, and she would have sworn that he wore a smile that wasn't there before.

What she didn't know, was that Killian opened his eyes as soon as she left, smiling to himself.

Maybe they would meet halfway in Storybrooke after all.

Xxx

The tall watchtower of Storybrooke appeared on the horizon early in the morning, making the whole crew ecstatic to finally reach home; there were hugs, hopeful smiles and relieved stares exchanged, and Snow embraced Emma, whispering in her ear that they had made it. Even Henry, whose mood hadn't been quite joyful until then smiled at the sight of the harbor.

"I can't wait to see mom."

Emma tried to put on her brave face because even if her relationship with the so called Evil Queen was slightly better, the mayor wasn't going to welcome her with open arms. It was probable that she would hold against her that she left for an express mission to rescue Henry without including her.

"I'm sure she's waiting for us", Snow said, her nails tapping against the rail nervously, probably sharing Emma's thoughts.

"I hope she prepared lasagna."

"Well, kid, I'm dying for a good cocoa once we reach home; as much as I like rum, if I see one more bottle of it, I swear I'm going to be sick", Snow rolled her eyes, her hand in front of her expressing how done she was with that drink.

"Oi! No one insults my rum aboard my ship", Killian surprised them, coming from below deck; Emma was carefully avoiding his eyes, not sure if he had any idea of what had happened last night.

"You look better, Hook", David commented, arching a brow at how easily the pirate walked toward them when he had been stuck in his bed, almost unable to feed himself on his own.

"Aye, thanks to your lovely daughter and wife."

"Don't push it, pirate."

"Maybe I'll go back on my decision not to force you to call me majesty after all, mate", Killian said with a devilish smile, Snow and Emma watching the exchange with amused expressions, knowing that under that talk, both men respected the other.

"Found your hook?" Her father shot back with pride, savoring the twisted smile on the pirate's face.

"Next time you take my hook without my permission, mate, I will-"

"Home!" Henry interrupted them. "I can see mom!"

"Alright mates, get ready to moor", Killian said with a commanding voice, his eyes wandering to Emma as if he was trying to give her a message, message she didn't understand, too distracted by both the arrival home and what had happened last night.

The captain gave the orders to everyone so the Jolly Roger reached the port swiftly and safely, David following them with a groan, Killian having way too much fun poking the prince. Emma loosened the right knots so the sails folded and their speed lessened. Her mother grabbed Henry's hand and stayed with him as the rest of them worked around the ship until they finally reached home.

"Mom!" Henry gasped with an amazed expression. "Mom! It's dad! He's waiting for us!"

Emma's heart stopped and she let go of the ropes, going to the bow of the ship and standing behind Henry.

At the dock, waiting for them, were standing Regina, Archie right behind her, Ruby, Belle and Mr. Gold.

And Neal, standing on his own two feet, somehow not dying anymore, a smile on his face as he waited for them to come back home.

_Neal was alive._

Worrying her bottom lip, Emma looked over her shoulder at Killian whose eyes had turned darker, his grip on the helm tightening.

_What now? _His eyes seemed to say as they sought hers, his expression as puzzled as the one she must've been wearing.

"Mom! Look, it's dad! He's waiting for us!" Henry shook her hand. "He's alive! He's alive!"

"I can… I can see that, kid", Emma whispered breathlessly, patting her son's shoulder, not quite knowing what to say. "He's… he's definitely alive."

She couldn't help but look around, trying to find support in her parents, but they looked as confused as Emma felt, and everybody on board the ship but Henry had the same look on their face.

_What are you going to do now?_

* * *

_Review? Tissues? A sword to jab me with?_


End file.
